Well, I really feel like I’m struggling but amazingly I have noticed that I have ‘real’ friends around me! Often when I feel like things are about to fall down around me, I look around and can’t see anyone who’s ready to pick up the pieces and help me put it back together again. This time I look around and realise that people are actually placing their hands all around so that it can’t fall down in the first place. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS PROVISION.

it makes me really realise that God has been growing me and totally answering my prayers about having friends who will give as much as I do. Andy says I give way too much and he’s so true! I give up to the point where I can’t give anymore – a place of burnout. I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THAT GOD CAN DO STUFF WITHOUT ME! so hold me accountable to the fact that (when I have found my currently misplaced palm pilot/world) I am going to mark out days in my diary which shall be set aside for Jesus so that he can restore me and fill me and sort me out! I believe there’s a commandment I’ll be fulfilling….

on Wednesday I go for my counselling consultation. This feels good but also really scary – it means going back into places that I had thought were healed up and sorted out. At the end of it though, it’ll mean more wholeness and a good bout of therapy will make me much more akin to my American family!!!!!

throughout all of this I feel so close to the Lord which is wonderful.