i really should be sleeping

this morning i had jos sleeep for 45 minutes from 8.15 til 9 so that he would be ready to go to sleep at the same time as robin when robin usually does his 2ish hour sleep. but robin isn't going to sleep so i can't sleep. i am very frustrated because i'm so tired having done a pampered chef show last night and then feeding jos 7 times in a 6 hour period last night. irritates me that i was self-disciplined and thought through my day and planned for it and set limits (all of which don't come naturally to my ENFP personality type) and then i get no good consequences from it - apart from robin demonstrating his excellent patience skills because although awake he is, for the most part, being quiet in his room. i expect he will fall asleep at a time just before jos wakes up and when i start calculating the time left before bedtime and so possible worrying that he won't sleep later.

i was also hoping to make it to the museum this afternoon but not sure that's going to happen if he is so knackered/falls asleep just before jos wakes!

robin loves diggers. we continue to raise him in a household that tries to blur the gender lines in terms of identity. totally want our boys to know that they are boys, one day to be men but don't want them to think that they are therefore denied pink, dresses/skirts, dollies, nail polish, fairy outfits etc. i am often quite shocked when people say, 'aren't you worried they'll end up gay?'. no, i'm not worried - not that for a minute i think people are gay simply because they had parents who gave them the freedom to explore the world through a child's eyes instead of cultural rules that have not been thought through. but anyway, it wouldn't be a problem if either of them was gay. far more important that they grow up knowing that they are loved, that they are loving to others, that they develop good boundaries with themselves and others so that they take responsibility for their choices and whatever consequences go along with those and that they serve others in a 'love your neighbour as you love yourself' way.

robin does love diggers though! we went to the park the other day where there is a digger doing a great job of building a toilet block! we parked a bit away and walked along the river to the park and we saw the heron. i say 'the' heron because for some reason whenever i see him it always feels like he is the only one. i've never seen two together and he always looks the same. and he has a wonderful aura of authority - like he really knows that he owns the place! here's a picture (taken on my mobile at full zoom so it's not the best quality!!)