thoughts on harry potter....

actually more about professor snape....
i'm generally not that sharp when it comes to following the subtleties of a story - bea's normally a lot better than i am. but having decided to work through all 5 harry potter books in order, right after each other, i've been trying to figure out snape - whats he about, and i think i'm getting to it.
for a long time i couldnt work out why he seems to be a blatant death-eater (mark an' all) yet dumbledore would trust and defend him.
then, at the end of hp4, when voldemort returns and gathers the remaining death-eaters, the 2 that are missing, are described, as one who has run away (karkarov) and one at hogwarts who wil be killed (snape).
so when voldemort lost it 13 years or previously, and all the death-eaters went into hiding etc, snape obviously found himself taken in by dumbledore at hogwarts.
i'm guessing that having an ex-death-eater that cant go back to voldemort (for fear of death) in the order is a pretty useful thing to have - which i'm guessing is something to do with the secret stuff that snapes been doing since the end of hp4.
which also allows him to hate harry and sirius etc, whilst still being tied to dumbledore ands helping harry with occlumency etc.
but then i s'pose there'll come a point when snaspe really has too choose between dumbledore/ order of the phoenix/ hogwarts etc and being head of slytherin house - its good having him currently positioned in slytherin to stay close to malfoy, crabb etc - keep your friendas close, your enemies closer. snapes is reluctantly in debt to dumbledore.

sorry if all that's obvious to everyone else.

it only takes a few minutes to make a big difference...

The European Commission is writing an action plan to
improve air quality in Europe. It will include
measures having a direct influence on our day to day
life. The way we move, the way we produce and use
energy, the air quality we want, the price of products
and services are all at issue in this plan. Therefore
your opinion on air pollution and its effects is of
great importance to us. It will help us finalize the
plan.

The questions are of importance to the future action
plan. The links provide you with background
information on where emissions come from, their impact
on health and ecosystems and on how the emissions and
their impacts might evolve up to the year 2020.

This consultation will remain open until 31 January
2005. The results will be published in March 2005.
Your answers will remain totally anonymous, except for
the organisations choosing to give their name.

http://europa.eu.int/yourvoice/forms/dispatch?form=356〈=EN

a bee in bea's bonnet!

i'm getting increasingly passionate about issues in the world which a lot of society tries to avoid so that they don't ahve to make changes. Well, I have started making changes and ity seems the bug is catching!

a few books:
"not on the label" by felicity lawrence
"take it personally" by anita roddick
"the good shopping guide" by ? (i got mine through Christian Aid and i know that kate hamilton/naomi fennel have a copy)

a few websites:
www.anitaroddick.com
www.takeitpersonally.com
www.christianaid.org.uk
www.oxfam.org.uk
http://www.wateraid.org/

"Human rights are the dignity, stature, humanity, respect, and freedom belonging to all people by right of their birth." -- Dick Gregory

"The unexamined life is not worth living." -- Plato

"if many little poeple, in many little places, do many little things; we can change the face of the earth." -- african proverb

harry potter and the goblet of fire

i was wondering the other day whilst listening to the goblet of fire at work, and thinking about the prisoner of azkhaban dvd i'm getting and was then wondering who they'd get for playing all the new roles in the new film, and thought i'd see what other people though.
and then i checked the internet and the whole cast has already been confirmed. no big names really - i really thought they'd go to town for mad-eye moody at least. brian blessed was one suggestion i heard. oh well. ralph feinnes is playing "you know who", which'll be good.
am also a bit gutted the guy who directed hp3 isnt doing hp4.

this mornings walk

whilst slowly wandering around the block this morning at some hour i have little recollection of, all in th effort of sending robin to sleep, i thought i'd take my mp3 player and carry on listening to harry potter to take my mind off the task in hand.
i was on my way back down freedom road when i heard a owl hoot - thinking it was odd enough i should hear an owl hoot whilst listening to harry potter, i looked up and there was one sitting on a tv arial on someones roof. it was just looking around and then flew off after a minute or so.
i'm not sure i've ever seen an owl before, or if i have, i dont remember it.
it certainly was a lovely thing to see this morning, seeing as i really was not in the mood for staggering around walkley when i (and robin!) should have been asleep!

reading at work

have recently started to enjoy my job a lot more - since obtaining the audiobooks for "lord of the rings" and "harry potter: the order of the phoenix", and the use of my mp3 player, i'm quite able to listen to them whilst working without any difficulty, or loss of work rate (they actually speed me up i think).
i'm currently reading (or listening to) harry potter which is getting pretty riviting - at the bit where harry's started learning occlumency from snape. the other cool thing is, as my mp3 player is able to play stuff back through a variety of environmental settings, i'm not only able to have lord of the rings read to me by a proper old boy (as you'd imagine tolkien himself would sound like) but i'm also listening to it in a cathedral!
i've also found hem's new album "eveningland" sounds amazing in an opera house, and "demolition" by ryan adams was made for a concert hall (or possible an indoor arena...) and its always nice to have stephen fry describing harry's antics sitting in your livingroom, as opposed to an office.

a strange night out...

actually wasn't all that strange overall. bea and i went out for charlotte's (her sister) birthday in town on friday night to BRB (what used to be the hallamshire hotel) and had a great time.
as it turned out however, i wasnt wearing appropriate clothing. my grey cords weren't acceptable, so i got bea to bring down my newer jeans with the rips in them (not ripped by wear and tear or course, but bought pre-ripped), i changed in the lovely red deer pub, and was then allowed into BRB after all. shows how fickle fasion is i s'pose. couple of years ago, people would not have been at all impressed with jeans covered in rips. today its fasionable. that's what was strange about the night.
and also, bea and i going out in town on a friday night - that was kinda strange experience too. i think we'd forgotten what it was like!

wax on, wax off...

hooray! aftrer lamenting to my friend zoe that my waxer, sam, had left the salon i go to and they wouldn't give me her details, i got a phonecall from her just now! yipee - she is now based at fitness first on penistone road.

robin was crazy with his feeding last night - every hour. people keep suggesting weaning so i'm hatching a plan - for every suggestion to start weaning i will postpone it one week. that will shut the buggers up!!! anyway - recommendation from WHO and health professionals in this country is 6 months so why i should need to be doing it at 4 months is beyond me!

the nct girls are out on the lash again!! sheffield watch out on 11 december - we are painting the town red and we don't have to pay deposits or fixed menu prices!! yipee!!

cool beans.

andrew jones stayed with us last night as he's in town for a conference today. good to catch up and alsdo get a brochure for orkney from him. looks like we'll be showing our faces up there in the new year.

also - i did the most phenomenal poo today. so incredible that i will not even put the dimensions of my creation up here as you would probably shrink away under a great cloud of inferiority...

th 12th annual beer festival, the cask & cutler

boggart hole clough - ruby red
castle rock - stoat
greenfield - ifre cracker
green wood - unbel-leeds-a-bull
hill island - monster mash
old empire - indian pale ale
wentworth - gunparkin

we had a good time.

the sunrises in the east... blood has been spilt this night.

robin and i got to see quite a spectacular sunrise this morning on our 7am wander round walkley.

100 today!

days that is...
getting bigger by the second, just as loud, just as ginger, still happily standing on two feet, almost crawling in the mean time, resisting sleep quite effectively, starting to giggle, still smiling, still chatting away, putting anything he can get hold of in his mouth, drooling otherwise, pooing spectacularly (when he does).
.....iiiiit's robin!

on the move...

not quite yet.
but heres a very cute short video clip of him trying to crawl. (right click and "save target as" - 2.6mb).
and at last a new photo of him.
he's also got to that stage of putting everything he can get his hands on in his mouth.

an update on the feeding frenzy!

yesterday i took robin to see the health visitor to get him weighed. i was really hoping he would have put on because in the previous two weeks he had only managed to gain 6oz in total (not bad though) but after my two nights of continuous feeding, i was very pleased to hear that he had put on 10oz in six days!!!

went for our regular jaunt to endcliffe park with other mums and nicky had got me a load of 'not blue' clothes for robin from a clothes co-op. fantastic colours - red, orange, lime green, bright yellow!

at the weekend things were crazy - lots of mad energy in everything we did - friend's kid was christened, ant's 30th and then down south to hang out with andy's family. apart fro andy and i falling out temporarily over miscommunication, we had a fab weekend.

mum is up tomorrow - yipee!

mmm... the bath is running!

thwe lovely sparkly jen has taken robin away for an hour so that i can have a lovely long hot bath! andy bought me a bath ballistic from lush and has organised the childcare so i can have a few moments of luxury.

last night robin only woke twice but the night before he woke hourly and the nighty before that it was 1.5-2 hourly! i am a little shattered but andy lets me have lkots of lie-ins.

mum up this week coming and dad up next weekend to join her. can't wait.

down south tomorrow to see andy's family and his granny will meet robin for the first time - aaaw!

the levellers

you know how you have those moments when you, by complete chance, hear a song and it reminds you of a time of life etc and you go back and listen to the album it was from and you get all excited by it again, but at the same time hear it in a whole new way, noticing bits you never heard before, and understanding the story behind the songs more.
thats just happened to me and the levellers.
spent most of the time at work today listening to levelling the land, a weapon called the word and headlights, whitelines, black tar rivers (who's title i especially love), and just see them in such a different light - you see all the political/ anarchist stuff that washed over my first time round - some of the songs really hit me in ways i never felt before - made my head go all hot and tingly (for want of a better description!!). and also realising that when i was originally into them, it was very much from the indie point of view, and now this time i see it much more through folky eyes (and seeing the punk in it too).
theres another song, "england my home" that's very interesting too - about the things he see's england about, what he's proud of england for and the dissapointments of it, and all of it without being soppy or nationalistic.
also quite challenging in a way about how we view capitalism, the traps of it, the alternatives (and the struggle of fighting against it), the people and so on.
truely a lovely gem to rediscover.
haven't ventured into their new stuff yet...

"...but am i in the pension scheme?!"

well - its been a very long time since my last post, in which i said the same thing - a month ago or so...

anyway. what is there?
the job at the home office is going well enough - it started up a bit dull and depressing, but i'm kinda getting into it now. i went for an interview for whats essentially the job i'm already doing, but employed by the home office itself and not thru an agency. whilst it means i wont get a pay rise, i do get all the benefits of being a civil servant! these include half a day off to do your Christmas shopping amongst other random holidays and days off and the above mentioned pension scheme (which is itself a quote from which (cult?) TV programme, anyone?), and of course the options of climbing the ladder, ousting D Blunkett himself.
the red tape however slows everything down - whilst i have passed the interview stage, it would appear a certain employer of mine is being difficult when it comes to references, and so has thrown the proverbial spanner in the works. in the mean time, i've already been trained up to do the next job up on the ladder, an Admin Officer, aka case worker. this also includes a pay rise!

hmm.
other things.
robin.
robin.
still finding things pretty difficult - not as hard as they were a few weeks ago, but still finding it hard to spend much quality time with him i guess. he's definitely moe easy going than he was (except his current "i dont want nobody but my mummy" phase).
he's smiling and giggling lots more, responding to me more, and is generally more laid back at nights.
not that he's forgotten how to raise hell and give me a ringing ear when he feels the need... and he does a good impression of an insomniac, managing to fight off sleep at all possible opportunities.

have finally got round to upgrading my mp3 player. whilst the round-the-neck thing was good, working 8 hour shifts means i get through the songs a bit too easily, so i've gone for a full on 20GB player. texan friends will no doubt notice i'm not buying the whole apple thing, still continually unimpressed with them, i've gone for the new creative zen touch.
obviously the fact its only 20GB is an easy shot to take for iPod fans, but who on earth has 10 000 songs - i checked my hard drive and theres 2443 songs on there, and that having spent weeks dumping everything i could possibly find on there.
on the flip side, it does have a 24hr battery life, significantly more useful than the iPods 8-12 hr.
plus its cheaper.
and i reckon it looks nicer anyway.

rant over.
but on a vaguely related theme...

have recently discovered the wonders of gillian welch.
not much to say other than it has brightened up my days at the home office no end. truely beautiful music.

have also been getting back into quite a bit of ryan adams recently too, having found loads of odd live stuff on the internet, including a version of "come pick me up" thats got a distinctly slow/ tired/ stoned feel to it...

bea.
had a good time last night "out on the lash" as she put it. robins on the alcohol milk (mook? mooch?!) as a result.
in fact bea and i are doing quite well at the mo i think. we're both pretty tired and wiped out most of the time, and rarely get much time together, but things are going alright.

not sure theres anything else that comes to mind.

seeya in a month or so, hopefully less.

he he he!!!!!!

today the sun is shining

i have just got washing on the line and it is lovely to see it blowing around.

robin is sleeping and i had a kip too. i'm feeling low so i'm off to my sister's for a cup of tea and she's asked me to take my hair-dressing scissors - intriguing!

last night was poker night - i had some good hands but people were being very frugal in their betting so i didn't manage to win much - in fact my chips were down at the end of the game. oh, and i really wanted us to 'up the ante' at some point because my new poker playing has given that phrase meaning , but no one would go along with me. robin got a little over-stimulated but at least he's getting a good education froma young age.

on wednesday we went swimming together and he loved it. today, when andy gets back from work, the three of us are heading to the pool.

tonight we are off to crazy man hodgson's for tea and we'll get to meet his dad - hooray!

can you hear that noise? ...it's robin asleep!

should be resting while robin sleeps but instead i am busy doing housework and other things to fill my time. i find it hard to rest when stuff needs doing cos i feel anxious when it is waiting around.

i am off to doctor's in a minute about my mental health. the appointment was booked three weeks ago so she could keep an eye on me but it has come at the right moment - in the knickers of time!

shannon has posted the below - i agree 100%:

Did you know that there are more people traded today as slaves than were traded when slavery was legal? Something really must be done and I believe that church has to step up and be involved.

I also believe that the emerging church must be involved in working towards a solution. We must stop being focused just on the people that look like us, talk like us, dress like us and have a missiology that includes those that works towards justice for those that justice isn?t easily attained.

today is sick day!

sorry no blogs for a while - robin keeps us very busy and when he sleeps the internet is not a priority when there is washing to do and all manner of other things.

andy has just done a few cool poster designs for a conference called FEM 04. the poster that another guy had done for this Kat (the organiser) was horrendous. eek!

andy has also talked recently of re-designing our blog. it would be good i think - there are a couple of fun pictures we took of each other on our anniversary which i'd like to see replace the ones of us at the top of the page currently. i don't know what his ideas are though for the re-design.

i'm cooking roast lamb for tea tonight but can't find anyone yet who wants to come for tea - everyone wants to be at church instead.

hope you are all well.

my, hasn't he grown...

although robin's just passed the 2 month mark and we're already putting him in his 3-6 month clothes!
which is good in some ways, cause it means he gets to wear a lot of the cool outfits people have bought him, although even some of his 3-6 month stuff is getting a bit small for him...

at last...

photographic evidence of robin smiling

fringe festival jokes

...as emailed to me by a friend:

Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.. She
said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?
I said, "All right, but we won't get much done."

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a
goat.

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most
of our family holidays in Customs.

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on
its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that
they're enjoying it as well.

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you,
because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite
flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "$hit, I wasn't listening ...
Self-raising?"

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face.

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

The Butler Report is the political equivalent of saying, "Leave it out
lads, we've all had a drink".

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a
winner and a loser at the same time.

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not
very good at it.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a
tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.

greenbelt photos are now (finally) up

click here to see the rest of them

spaced

just like with "the office" Bea and i have gotten a little behind with our intake of TV sitcoms and then binged on them after they'd all passed away from you're average license paying viewer's memory.
this time it was the spaced series, having watched both series in about 3 days (between Robin's crying (see later) and me working full time (also see later)), we've become quite avid fans, especially of the enigmatic brian...
have even (pre)ordered the (3 disc) box set from amazon (here) as pictured over there...

you may have also noticed that this is the first blog of mine in a very long time - last time i blogged was robin's 3 week birthday - he's now 7 weeks old today.
have felt that classic "i've not blogged in so long i dont know where to begin" and so dont blog at all.
thought that'd be a good thing to get the ball rolling hopefully.

we're back!

we got back from our 'holiday' yesterday. the weekend at greenbelt was amazing. it was avery different experience with robin but it was fantastic none the less. andy has some refreshing and encouraging thoughts about his relationship with greenbelt which i hope he'll blog about (but otherwise just ask him!).

after greenbelt we stayed with my mum and dad in cheltenham for a week. i found this really relaxing as there were so many extra pairs of hands to help us with robin. robin is still quite colicky and his bum is still sore. we're holding out on the homeopathy and using calendula (great minds think alike, whitney!).

things robin loves:
:: the pat and squat technique!
:: going in the car
:: going in the pushchair
:: rosie thomas
:: his mummy's singing
:: dancing
:: his daddy
:: being held whilst my sister jumps up and down on her bed
:: sleeping in wirly gig

i'm struggling quite a lot with feeling like i can't cope and that i'm failing as a mother. I KNOW THESE ARE NOT TRUE as people keep reminding me but the reality is that i feel them! a good friend kindly mentioned to me that some people may have said that "if there's anything i can do, please let me know" - i can't remember who said that so if you did then please get back in touch. i'm not very good at asking for help because i often don't know what i need but also i don't want to be a burden.

BIG LESSON LEARNT #1: i am not responsible for everything and everyone even though i feel it and act like it. please remind me of this if you notice me slipping into old ways.

in the words of POD: "every day is a new day..."

Last night I tried to post a couple of times but Blogger refused to publish for me! It was really frustrating because I had so much good stuff to tell you. I'll try and get it all down here:

Yesterday was a really good day - I felt full of joy all day and although I forgot to eat lunch for the third day in a row and I haven't managed to sleep in the day for three days also, I didn't feel too tired. The night before robin was up screaming (literally) from 11.30pm to 2.30 am which was a little difficult to say the least. Last night he was slightly kinder and decided only to scream from 2.30am to 5am!

We think we've got to the bottom of what's wrong with him - the colic doesn't seem to be the main reason he's unsettled. During a nappy change a couple of days ago I noticed some blood on the cotton wool. It turns out that he has raw nappy rash inside his butt-cheeks around his anus and this has started to ulcer. So lots of bum n' air time for robin - he seems so much more settled though. My theory is that sore bum causes distress causes unsettled feeding causes wind causes colic. Colic is now so much better and we just have to get the bum sorted!

Last night I watched 'the Italian job' (the remake) which I'd seen before and love. It was funny because I had forgotten one of the lines which I thought was so true last time I watched it and particularly true this time:

"how are you doing?"
"fine"
"you know what 'fine' stands for? - Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional."

Today I am busy with packing for greenbelt and sorting things out. I prayed lots before robin was born that God would make me more resourceful and he is really answering that prayer. I am so resourceful at the moment in terms of getting stuff done that I may even be learning to multi-task!!

Weather is shitty here - let's hope it's better for the weekend otherwise it'll be muddy fields for us and andy 'cranky pants' marshall will live up to his name!!

an update

for those of you who are praying for me or the others who are just curious, i am noticing some patterns.

1. i feel fairly good in the mornings and then i get progressively more emotional as the day goes on. this ends with me feeling incompetent as a mother and totslly lacking confidence in my parenting abilities by the first night feed.

2. homeopathy is a gift from God - my homeopath keeps giving me spot-on remedies so the feelings of being abandonned and isolated are subsiding since taking the most recent remedy she sent up.

3. i have severe tendencies to be hard on myself and particularly when it comes to watching other parents appear to 'succeed'. i need GRACE, GRACE and more GRACE!!!

other news... (which i think is highly inaccurate - blame wilkins)


Name the era, and you can name every artist from
it. You've got an eye for design and a knack
for feng shui. Color schemes, architecture, and
objt d'art - these are all your forts.
What people love: You're the perfect person to shop
with.
What people hate: They have to clean their house
whenever you come over.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

a bit of vulnerability...

i am really quite overwhelmed emotionally. robin has colic which means he spends most of his waking hours really distressed and his lungs carry quite a large capacity for noise! i have found it really hard acknowledging how crappy i feel because it makes me feel like i am an ungrateful mum - ungrateful because ultimately i have a wonderful baby (who is healthy and happy other than his colic), wonderful husband, i have a hot meal cooked for me every day by someone in our community, i have a safe home and i know God.

and also i have not wanted to suggest that maybe he was colicky because i don't want to be a hypochondriac parent.

so what i feel is isolated, abandonned, alone and not coping. today i noticed that i couldn't care less what i wore and how i looked. fortunately i recognised that i was feeling like that so i made huge effort to clean my teeth (something that is easy to forget with a baby) and wear some clothes that might make me feel good.

i know we have friends around but it's hard going from a lifestyle where you are out socialising every night to one where it feels like people don't want to see you or spend time with you. i even feel like people don't ring to say 'hi' or to see how we're doing. then i look at the reality with the small amount of sanity that remains and i do see people popping in here and there and offering their time and help.

people say that most new parents experience this which i suppose is meant to be a help but it sure makes it very hard too! if only mother nature compensated it all buy giving me back my figure straight away!!

3 weeks old today...

weighing in at 11lb 1oz (1lb, 2oz up on his birth weight), he's the undisputed heavyweight champion...
robin!!

musical education

+ + (10 x - ) =

the early morning strolls up to the shops are becoming quite a regular thing these days giving bea a break from the often disrupted night before, plus they tend to have the useful ability to send robin to sleep.
having heard that jen m however sang an abba song to him the other day, "dancing queen" no less, i have decided to start providing music for his outings in the form of a small mp3 player and headphones lying in his seat somewhere. you know how they say it takes 10 positive things to counteract a negative thing - well, i've taken things into my own hands and have been introdusing him to the likes of ryan adams and kate rusby amongst others.
in fact you can chart his musical moments on the revised side bar panel.

(no offence jen - i just really hate abba!)

boy am i tired!!!

well...
i have now got over my mastitis but i am still very weary - i feel ncredibly tired and weak which worsens as the day progresses. despite my physical tiredness i am coping with a newborn considerably well - i love being a mummy! i get pretty emotional still but i am finding homeopathy very effective in all the situations i find myself in. i keep reminding myself that i am not only getting over a pregnancy, labour and birth but also a bout of being really poorly - temperature of 102 and a night of being delirious!

robin is amazing. i love him so much and it's amazing then to start to understand that the amount i love robin is only a glimpse of how much God loves me. it is thew most profound revelation and i think it's fantastic.

robin hasn't got a pattern but that's ok - he's only little and most of all i want him to know that he is safe and loved and not on his own. i am mostly a milk machine and i can spurt milk a long way - about 50com probably!! i find that robin tends to get most of the spray over his face and hair before i realise what's going on!!

he's getting bigger - tomorrow he gets weighed by the health visitor (please pray for grace cos i find her very hard work!) so we'll let you know how he's doing. i think he's having a growth spurt - last night he fed every two hours for half an hour each time - exhausting.

today my friend zoe came round with her baby boy called tate. weirdly he looks very like robin - we all find it quite bizarre! we were talking about all the things that the ante-natal classes don't prepare you for - how tired you'll be (even without illness) was the main thing! we also talked quite a bit about the fact that we weren't prepared for how many of the births within our group would have complications. only zoe, coralie and i had totally straight forward births - out of 8 women there were 3 c-sections, one major hemorrage, and one forceps delivery. i think we would have liked to have been more prepared for this.

regarding my birth story - i think i'll write it up and somehow andy can post it as a file or a link or something so you can read it if you want to. the whole thing was amazing - apart from the bit when i felt like my clitoris was being ripped off!

so anyway, robin is now asleep having been awake from 12.30pm to 7pm. i hope he'll sleep until a 10pm feed and then have a good night. we're off to the cranial osteopath tomorrow to have a follow-up appointment - i've just read abook called 'osteopathy for children' which was fascinating.

sorry for the long post - they will probably be few and far between for a while!!


lots and lots of love to heather and scotty and their growing family. congratulations on the safe delivery of asa (can we have some help on how to pronounce it). may the peace of christ be ruling your hearts and your house!

l.a. confidential

i think i forget how good la confidential actually is - everytime you see it it just gets better and better (and makes a little more sense too).
the way the main 3 cops change throughout the film, how there's no real hero, and no one's perfect.
maybe a fnm some time?

the beer festival aftermath...

goose island ipa
lion stout
judas
rye storm
anchor porter
chimay red
chimay blue
chimay white
ara bier
rodenbach
grottenbier
grimbergen optimo bruno
duvel
guiness foreign extra
samuel smiths nut brown ale
samuel smiths extra stout
samuel smiths taddy porter
samuel smiths oatmeal stout
pecheresse
sierra nevada pale ale
lindeboom
oettinger dunkel hefeweizen
westmalle dubbel
schlosser das alt
black dog rhatas
black isle red kite ale
black isle yellowhammer bitter
black isle scotch ale
fruh kolsch
columba
mort subite frambozen

last night was a sucess.

2 weeks old today

robin's so far put on a stack of weight and doing well, despite the slightly grumpy look on his face.
its also my birthday today.

it's my birthday!!

hello all.
i know its pretty short notice, but for my birthday this year, we've decided to host a freedom road beer festival of sorts. given that bea is not quite in the condition to go out to a pub, nor is my son is old enough to come along too, it will be taking place at our house.

it'll be this friday evening coming (the 13th. oooo..!..) - whilst my birthday is on the thursday i'm guessing a few of you wont want to be drinking too much on a school night. so then friday night it is, 7.30pm onwards.

and the parts you need to play is in bringing along a few bottles of your favourite beers (or other drinks if you're not a beer drinker) and we can all try different beers.
in fact maybe this could be like the idea for the foody worship thing i had, but on a drinks level - everyone brings their favourite drinks for other people to try.

i hope it all works.
anyway, hopefully seeya people on friday

bea's better!

hello - bea here.

i am much better. mum has come back up but the homeopathy and prayer has sorted me out. i am still incredibly weak and my body not only has to recover from the birth but also a bout of serious illness.

please pray for my strength to return quickly but that i will be disciplined at resting and taking it easy!!

thank you all so much for praying or sending good vibes or whatever you did in your own way. i'll post more soon,
love bea

help!

bea's not very well - she suddenly got all feverish this afternoon - the midwife, a doctor and a homeopath all said it sounds like mastitis (bloking/ inflammation/ infection of one of the channels breast milk flows down).
we've been out to get the homeopathic remedy and a breast pump (for expressing milk to get it all moving again - having tried placenta, i though "why not?" and tried some breast milk and its not actually that bad - like thick, creamy sweet cows milk) and bea's currently lying in bed sweating out the temperature.

so anyway, if those of you inclined, please pray for her, that it passes quickly and doesnt make breast feeding with robin too difficult tonight.
thank you.

the thinker

ah yes. i'm inclined to agree...

yes... he's coming along in leaps and bounds. you know he's trying out for the 1st XV next week...

it was only day 2 and robin was lying on his chest being held by his gran looking down at the floor, and then he lifted his head right up to look straight forward, he also then the other day lifted and turned his head to rub noses with bea... very cute it was.

and then just a couple of minutes ago he smiled at bea.
or smiled at her breast more specifically.
but smiling - and its what - day 6.
and not your doing a poo/ burping smiles - an actual responding to something smile.

isnt this stuff s'posed to be happening a few months down the line?!
maybe my wish for intellectual debate with my kids will come sooner rather than later...

bea's first post since baby robin...

i've tried logging out of andy's sign in but blogger won't let me.

i thought my first post would be to tell you about my amazing birth exoerience but alas, no. instead i want to boast about my boy...

yesterday the midwife came and weighed him (normal procedure). she warned me that it's very usual for a baby to lose up to 10% of his/her body weight in the first week.

well, robin has put on 3.5oz making him currently a whopping 10lb 2.5oz!!

i am feeling stronger each day and although the last couple of days have been emotionally wobbly i'm feeling a bit more normal today. mum goes home today though so please pray - her support has been incredible and i think being on our own will be a bit of a shock. also, she has de-cluttered our kitchen!! those of you who know what our kitchen is like will not believe your eyes!

in pubs already? he's only 4 days old!!

robin got to come in to the dev cat today to see me - i mean he slept through the whole thing, but obviously wasnt put off by it. olly at work was very excited to see him and bought him a bottle of thomas hardy ale, a barley wine that apparently peaks in taste around 25 years from bottling, so he thought it wold make a good present for robin's 21st.
now in storage till then.

sadly no beer for robin yet.

bath time

had my first bath with robin this morning - not easy keeping his body under water (and therefore warm) and his head out (and therefore breathing) but great when he was.

am generaly feeling a bit out of my depth with everything like holding, bathing him etc but am not too stressed by it all - am looking forward to getting better at it and finding the things he likes.
bea's already found he likes having his feet licked (!) and he can often be heard loudly sucking things, often his hand, but also his arm (he gave himself a lovebite yesterday!) and even other peoples arms which is quite amusing.

he's great.

something else...

he's a boy.
not a girl.

apparently theres been a rumour going around that robin's a girl.

he most certainly is not.

and the winners are...

dan cooper, and kate hamilton!

dan was only 1oz off the birth weight, guessing a round 10lbs (robin being 9lb 15oz),
and kate guessing the 26 july - a huge 3 days out, but still the closest.

so then - preferences for drink - white, red or other?

that moment did come

bea got to eat her placenta. no pics for this one i'm afraid - bea did actually say it was like liver but nicer, and that she'd choose it over liver given the choice.

in the end, it was bea's mum who cut and fried it all up.
it left our bedroom smelling a bit like a little chef i thought - fried meat and tomato ketchup.

not as grim as i thought it'd be.
bea loved it

went a travelling

yesterday i got to go out on the first outing with robin using the sari that debbie jones had given us. he wasn't too keen on it at first, but once i got walking, he stopped crying straight away and went to sleep. we went down to see ben, charlotte and isaac, then si wilkins, then joy and isla, but none of them were in, so i went up to the shops to get a drink instead.
a very enjoyable and exciting experience we had.
or at least i did - robin did sleep the whole way.

day 2 in the big baby household...

9:26 am

robin's had his morning bath and got dressed in a new outfit including fluffy teddy bear boots which are almost too small.

11:52am

bea discovers "that addictive smell" that your own baby has.
have to say i got it from him too.

little video to watch

right click here and "save target as" to get a small (1.34mb/ 9sec) video of him gurgling and spluttering in the cute way babies do - taken about 30 mins after he was born.

robin ezekiel marshall

worship trick no. 12 for overdue day 12...

jonny baker listts wwjw (what would jesus wear) as worship trick no. 12. however, it's not overly practical as you have to do cutting and sticking and colouring. instead, i went to the 'zine link on the grace website which was where wwjw was at. i found a cool bit of liturgy which is what i'm posting as worship trick no.12 today.

it's called confession and is great - i would love to have a corporate opportunity to say it together.

alternative worship tricks...

johnny baker has lots of worship tricks up his sleeve. the last day or two i have found myself really drawn to his blog and i've been browsing through these tricks.

as today is my 11th day of being over due i thought i would access trick no.11 which is to do with prayer.

go to the labyrinth and click on station 10 - others.

it was acool way to pray for my family - mum and dad celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary today which meant my brother organised some amazing gifts from us kids so i had much to be thankful for and i was reminded to pray for my granny who is 18 months without poppy who died after they had been married for well over 50 years.

cathers came round tonight and was sharing about her experiences from her recent aiya nappa mission trip. she shared from somewhere in the new testament about Jesus pointing out to us that its not us who chose God but He who chose us and later as she prayed for me, she thanked God for chosing me to be my parents' daughter and I was also really aware that it's amazing that he chose them to be my parents. As hard as life is sometimes and as hard as families can be, the knowledge that God specifically chose you all to be inrelationship together is amazing.

news update...

today there was the usual parent-craft/ante-natal drop-in session at the hospital so i walked there and back. i gave myself an hour to walk there but it only took half an hour. the walk back took a little longer - my groin has been really aching lots.

i'm on the caullyphylum (sp?) which is a homeopathic remedy which should encourage contractions when my body is ready. if there's no baby by friday i'm popping into hospital for a scan and monitoring. they'll check the fluid, placents, baby and me. i'll also have a sweep (a cervix and membrane thing).

really wanting to get the baby out before pressure to induce starts - if i get induced i have to have a hospital birth. hopefully they'll not induce for as long as the scan and monitoring show no distress.

anyone know any news on grace and robby? their blog has been silent for a few weeks (in itself not a problem) and i'd love to hear news if there is any.

latest news...

there is still no baby. i have a very achy groin and i'm starting to get a little uncomfortable. one of the midwives has shown me various reflexology points so i shall be giving them a go.

oh, and i've also developed mild carpal tunnel syndrome but it should disappear after the baby arrives.

this baby has the laid back attributes of its father and certainly none of the punctuality of either parent!

painting the town red...

baby marshall has still not decided to come out. last night sam and i went into town (after a brief stay at dan austin and jason's new pad) and hit the bars. we were trying to find non-towny bars or venues but it was very hard. we were left wondering where other people who don't follow all the fashion trends and don't straighten their hair religiously, and also those that have even one alternative bone in their body, go for their night's out.

anyway - our evening consisted of bar sola, cubanas, the green room and then the devonshire cat. mostly popwl just stared at me and really didn't know how to appropriately respond to a 9 month pregnant woman. we did get chatting to a lovely couple though who were really interested in the bump and how i was doing - they were utterly amazed that at 9 days overdue i was out on the town!! i was very flattered when the guy said goodbye to us and sid that he hoped the baby would be as beautiful as me!

today i got a bit frustrated because the morning was fab - we went to the monthly farmer's market and then i rested. in the afternoon i went out in the wirly gig with caroline and ben to the park and i couldn't get the sliding door to close properly. by the time i got home i had totally loost hope and called andy out to help. something seems to have unhinged or something and the door won't close properly so tomorrow we'll take her to get looked at. there's a place just up the road that does classic vehicles, particularly campers.

the thing is, this left me feeling crap in myself and desperate for comfort - i went to church and the first thing that was said by the guy leading was "what are you expecting from God tonight/" and i knew that my expectation was to receive his comfort. i had an amazing time of letting go of all these things i had been hanging on to and realised that he really would lift my burdens. then i cried lots and felt lots of release. God is great.

pancakes for tea - mmmm!!

also an IQ test...

Congratulations, andy!
Your IQ score is 133

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Precision Processor. This means you're exceptionally good at discovering quick solutions to problems, especially ones that involve math or logic. You're also resourceful and able to think on your feet. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

IQ test

After taking the IQ test, linked from ant and caroline's blog, I am pleased to declare the following:

Congratulations, Bea!

Your IQ score is 131

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.

fnm

is goin ahead. no baby.
so its still here, 7pm onwards.

no.... no news...

no baby yet.

in the meantime, this is quite an amusing things to see - i was only thinking the other day that its about time w bush's rival will start popping up in web based humour a bit more...

fnm: watership down

ooohh yes.
this friday, we show the classic from our youth, watership down.
whether we were scared of general woundwort, amused by the crazy seagul, freaked out by the trippy sequences, thrilled by the escape from efrafa or saddened to tears by the sad deaths that occured ("bright eyes.... burning like fire...."), this is a film that will surely be pulling at the sentimental, emotional and nostalgic heart-strings of us all.

this one's taking place at our house (3 freedom road, walkley) on friday 23rd july, starting at 7pm.
if the obvious gets in the way, there'll be a blog going up with the alternate address (so do check), but for now, bigwig, pippin, cowslip, hazel, fiver and friends (and enemies) will be appearing on the 28" (widescreen for what its worth!).

all welcome, bring drinks.

ahhh...

....ceilidhs...
i miss them.

photos are up...

in a rare display of punctuality and initiative, i've got the photos from last night up on the blog for all those who weren't there (and those that were). whole page of them here.
will have to have another mini party again soon with a keg of beer and the camper...

the ponderosa festival

hoorah

well the party was wonderfull - didnt feel i got to speak much to anyone - maybe needed more seats... anyway. it was great fun all the same... the home brew went particularly quick - i thought i'd have half a barrel left over to have at another party, but it had all gone half way thru the evening.
the van was a strong point on convergence/ convenience throughout too which was great...
 
but no - no baby yet, and no signs of labour either.
 
more news as it happens...

camper van in place...

its all coming together... picked up the camper van this afternoon. its now parked in the area across the road. she's luuurrvely.
guided tours and certain occasions throughout the evening....

home brew ahoy

have just tried a glass of the homebrew and am pleased to say it is at leats drinkable. although i think most of my home brew is drinkable, i may however be a little biased. anyway. if you fancy some, then there'll be plenty to go round. it is perhaps a little harsh and could do with a couple more weeks in the barrel, but it looks awesome

not such a great day today...

i didn't sleep well last night which has left me tired and cranky pants. i have snoozed this afternoon which was good but i think maybe my mind is trying to clear itself of junk before the impending labour and the concentration that i assume is required!

andy went for a job interview today but he doesn't feel it was all that good - as ever they wanted office experience and andy found himself in the same chicken and egg situation of 'need experience to get experience'.

i'm about to make a big chicken curry for the labour inducement party tomorrow night and then i shall try tidying - i could do with a splurge of nesting instinct!

i have noticed over time in blogging circles that some poeple get frustrated if others take a blogging break. that doesn't bother me too much as there are seasons for all things. illogically though i am bothered when everyone seems to be taking a season of not commenting. good for me to recognise this bothers me as it shows where i try to find my worth - oops!

it's raining here too and it's st. swithen's day and the bus driver told andy that if it rains on st. swithen's day it will rain for 40 days and 40 nights! good for the garden if not fo mental health!!

flyer...

labour inducement party update

i forgot to get a box of sierra nevada pale ale for the party, the order going in yesterday morning, so i asked if there was anything else i could buy off the stock shelves of the dev cat at cost price, and as luck would have it, the grimbergen opyimo bruno was available in large quantities. so we now have 12 bottles (actually 11 - i had one last night with laurence) - which'll be plenty at 10%. it was suggested it could be used as a toast at the party in the place of champagne.
so anyway.
things are progressing nicely for friday. will check the barrelled beer tomorrow i think just to make sure it'll be drinkable, otherwise a blog will go up telling people to bring their own beer...

midRange sessions

various artists
format: CD (coomb02)

In March 2002, Coombe records began a monthly event - midRange - dedicated to minimal and electronic sound artists working within the realms of electronica, mellow acoustic instrumental, ambient and field recordings and other forms of guitar and lo-fi music, shaping a sublime turbid undertone of moods, listenable in a silent - audience participating - environment. There were many artists creating this kind of music but limited outlets for them to be heard in concentrated surroundings.

Coombe have now compiled a cd of the artists who performed live at midRange or have been involved with us at some point to contribute some of their music to appear on this special limited edition compilation.

The cd will feature Midnight?s Silent Repose [UK], Yoshio Machida [Japan], Brown Sierra [UK], Dual [UK], . m u r m e r . [US], iD [UK], Paul Hood/Katsura Mouri [UK/Japan], Troum [Germany], Motion [UK], G. Richardson [UK], Slow Sound System/Posset [UK], Karina ESP [UK].

The artists appearing on this compilation form an exploration of the creative collision between a sound environment and the individual mind, originating a sculpture of layered and minimal gliding harmonies performed via live instruments, or constructed through self made objects and producing unique and engaging timbres. Often resembling incidental music for film, creating a brooding emotional response, this compilation captures a mélange of mood and imagination.

available soon...

blah blah blah

v good eve at the cask and cutler. not sure why more dont come. belgian's best beer at only £2.70 a bottle, england best beers @ £1.50-1.90 a pint...

so si wilkin's is taking what he calls a hiatii, a gaggle of breaks, a murder of rests, a sorority of sabbaticals, one of which being from leading worship, another being from blogging, so the deletion of his blog template was no mere mistake but a deliberate act of hiatus (?)...

and of course impending parenthod is looming, so you may never find us in such a far fetched climes at the cask & cutler. but then even farther afield places may find us home, once opun our camper is ours.
greenbelt, cornwall, wales, scotland, belgium, germany, bavaria.
and beyond...

and unlimited downloads helps... goonies, nirvana, be good tanyas, kate rusby, curve, breeders, sonic youth, alison krauss, mary whitehouse exp, pod, bigbrother etc...

ah, for the occasional mishap by the powers that be.

this is bea blogging - not andy! do NOT be deceived!!

so I've just got back from church and i realised that i (and we) have had an amazing week of God's presence, blessing and provision. i wanted to list some of the things as testimony is powerful and builds up the church. this list is not exhaustive - God has done much that i will forget to write, or am not even aware of...

:: provision of the beautiful whirly gig
:: provision of the finances for the beautiful whirly gig
:: breakthrough with emotions and attitudes towards impending labour
:: awesome time of intimacy with the Father in the cathedral - fresh revelation and many reminders of what God has done or spoken before!
:: ace time of prayer with diane and sharon for the three of us.
:: good time of mentoring with my mentor - felt really affirmed and encouraged
:: spoke to heather miller - at this end it felt beautiful and such a privilege
:: found cool desks for my bastilling table so put down a deposit
:: water leakage turned out to be less serious than expected and hasn't stained the paint work!
:: read andrew jones' blog and was inspired and fed by his doodlings on prayer
:: found a cute t-light lantern for 50p in a charity shop - i think it will belong with whirly gig

it's our labour inducement party on friday night (16th), starting at 7.30pm. there'll be curry and music and stuff. please come to encourage the baby out into this beutiful world!

After God's incredible provision of our beautiful whirly gig we are keeping our side of the bargain. This means we are selling my alto saxophone and our car.

The alto saxophone is a vintage SLM Gold Medal. I bought it 10 years ago for £750 and these things increase in value. I'm trying to get accurate valuation at the moment.

The car is a Rover 220 SD turbo which is 1996 P reg, 5dr, 51.3mpg. It's value is £2,081 (according to 'what car? online) but because it needs £250 work on it (as quoted by autosave), we'll happily sell for £1,750.

If you know of anyone who may be interested please pass on our details to them.

when it rains, it pours.

found that not only does our bedroom window leak water when it rains, but now our living room frame is somehow letting in water.
i cannot believe this!

the whirly-gig

a new addition to the family - the most amazing camper van we could hope for, is now pretty much ours. we have paid a deposit on the vehicle having been out to see it again this evening. we had a little trip out in her to wentworth and it drives amazingly well, especially considering it's 5 months older than i am! it can seat 4 people with belts, and can sleep at least as many, its got automatic gears, a 2 litre engine, good stereo, a fridge, a pop-top and soooo much character its untrue! in the past couple of years its been to cornwall, glastonbury, france etc.

so we've already got a years worth of holidays planned for her - greenbelt, cornwall, scotland, geneva (to visit my dad and jenny who've helped us out BIG time with buying it!), and hopefully sometime some breweries in and around belgium, bavaria and germany at some point.

And God's been amazing too in keeping it back for us - the amount of times we thought we'd lost it or just couldnt afford it, and it came back to us.

i've not been this excited about something we've bought in ages - more than the house!

so we should be able to pick it up mid next week, in time for the labour inducement party on the 16th... for now, the piccy will have to do.

overdue... but not late....

whilst the baby prayer shower happenend last week, i've finally got round to putting the photos of bea's henna tattooed tummy. hopefully you can see all the writing on it...

rogue beers...

not sure why this is getting a whole blog of its own, other than perhaps to encourage our american friends to support an excellent beer trade over there and keep drinking the fine stuff made by your fellow americans.
(and not the rubbish stuff!)

other special mentions go to shiner bock (texas), the pike and anchor (san francisco), sierra nevada (chico, ca), alaskan smoked porter (alaska presumably), petes wicked ales (somewhere north) and fat tire (texas again).
if only we could get these in england more easily...

on a positive note, our local, the cask & cutler, i've noticed does sell the westvleteren 12. for those i've not explained it to, of the 6 trappist monastaries that produce higly alcohol ales, one of them refuses to distribute any of it. the only way to get any of it is to go to the monastary itself, knock on a hatch and buy them off a monk. and you're limited to a maximum of 3 cases at a time. its that rare. anyway, they somehow sell it at the pub and it tastes amazing, especially comnsidering its a 10% dark ale.
yumm yumm.

bea's news...

so i haven't blogged for a while. i have been busy and therefore tired! i can't quite manage my time well yet since being off work but i'm learning. i have discovered that it's best if i don't book things in for the morning.

debbie jones and shannon have just been up to stay which was amazing. i was going to head back to london with them for the weekend but my new skills of setting personal boundaries (!) and being sensible about looking after myself meant that i decided to stay put.

on wednesday night i had my baby prayer shower. the english don't do baby showers as a rule but a few girls i know have had prayer showers and this was something that i had wanted to do too. it was amazing - God really showed up and gave some amazing words and blessings and affirmation. it was all girls and i felt saturated by God's love and my friends' love. God had told me to get some henna for body tattoos so everyone chipped in with their design and I have a big tattooed belly now! andy took a couple of pics while the henna was drying so i think they'll go up in the next couple of days.

i am starving all the time the last couple of days. i think the baby must be having a growth spurt - very exciting as i have been told by more than one person that a heavier baby is generally easier to give birth too - but not too heavy!!

i'm now at the stage where i'm uncomfortable a lot of the time - in bed and when sitting down, particularly i the car. i've also started getting up to pee in the night ( a miracle i've lasted this long - some women know they're pregnant because they find themselves peeing all night long!!).

marco is out of the big brother house. this is sad becasue he was a great source of entertainment. i am not yet addicted to BB but well on the way. my excuse is that it gives me quality time hanging out with my next door neighbour because she's the one with the TV license. i also watched wimbledon on her TV - saw henman have his ass whipped - good job too as the english will now be able to get back to normal! the final is this weekend so may have to watch that - not sure!

mean girls

kinda like that film ID where a cop goes so undercover into the world of football hooligans, that he becomes one. like that only set in an american high school. and not quite so violent.
very good though.

how exciting!

it would seem we now have broadband as soon as it arrived - no 10 day waits...
lovely...
what shall i download?

mary whitehouse experience episodes.... music videos....
hmmm...

entering internet limbo

well, we're now off ntl dail up, but not yet on broadband, so our blog and email access will be somewhat diminished over the next week (hopefully less).
seeya tonight if you're going.

mid summer cider 1096.... mmmmm.....

today's been so far quite a productive day - have transfered the pale ale i made last saturday into the secondary fermenter - thats going pretty well - looks like it'll be ready just in time for the labour inducement party - somewhere around 40 pints worth, at about 4.9% with a nice hoppy taste to it. its all gotta be drunk pretty much that evening, or in the few days that follow, so all hands on deck - drinkers needed!

then today i thought i'd use up some apples from beanies' organic fruit bags by making a cider. with 10 braeburns, 2 peaches, a few raspberries and a couple of other things, plus huge amounts of sugar, i've made up a tester batch of about 750ml of the stuff - with an expected alcohol content of 9.6% i have high hopes for this one - just fresh it tastes awesome. am hoping to have it sometime later this summer on a particularly fitting hot summer's evening.

oo yes.
i've also come about a box of sierra nevada pale ale, a truely excellent example of what americans can brew when they put their minds to it. 12 bottles for about £12, also ready for the labour inducement party (should my pale ale be undrinkable!)

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE HEWSONS!!!

a very warm welcome to sam hewson who arrived this morning! Whoopee!!! this is great news

for you are jolly good parents

for you are jolly good parents

for you are jolly good parents

and so say all of us!!

can't wait to see you three...

talk talk

just so we know who's on it, i thought i'd put a tiny little asterisk next to their names - a special little star if you will, to encourage others to join up.
as if big brother itself wasnt advertisement enough... still cant believe last weeks fight - truely awesome. and now emma's gone.

goodbye ntl... hello talk talk... and hello wanadoo.

well bea and i have now changed over to talk talk, so all others of you out there with talk talk (who is there so far? i know the birchenall's have) can phone us up night and day and talk as long as you like to us. we've gone for the free evening/ weekend package, so we may well be talking to you lot loads too. and hopefully our phone bills will be a lot cheaper too. and all for £5 a month - what a bargain - no more irritating 7p "connection charges" every single time you phone someone up just to get an answer machine/ 1571 - go on everyone - join up and we can all talk for freeee!!
plus....
we have signed up for wanadoo broadband, which wont be working for a week or so, but then will be wonderful, up to 10x faster. well, its a novelty for us anyway.
it does however mean we'll lose our ntl web space so might have to risk the (very real) wrath of ant c and put those little pics of you lot back on dfour.... hmmm....

welcome back mr ward

perhaps he should be moved up into the sheffield community for a bit, now hes back. will ask him this evening of his intentions

ben folds.... big brother....

so, we got the tickets at last to go see him play at the octagon in november.

i dont really get to watch much tv, but when i do, its pretty spectacular - last nights big brother was possibly the most scarily entertaining (as well as just scary) tv i've seen in soo long. truely awesome.

suicide squares... northern general...

well the ceilidh was great fun, as always. there were sufficient songs for bea to have sevral dances, even at 35 weeks. and then there were the ones that weren't...
first on involving stags challenging each other then chasing does around the hall amidst the odd twirl.
then we had the above mentioned dance that was like a ceilidh version of british bulldog, and has to be seen to be believed! everyone form a massive circle round the room, then pushes out to make a square. the opposite edges then grab their partners and charge across the middle towards those coming from the other side of the room, narrowly missing (often only just) the oncoming rush. the other sides do the same, often starting whilst the first edges are just finishing their run so as to stay in time with the music. couples then do a bit of kicking/ hopping, before joining back up into circles with the blokes going round one way, girls the other, stopping at a certain point in the music to have found another random partner and it all starts off again.
and someone also had to be taken off to the above hospital to get her foot looked at after it got a bit trampled on at some point.

anyway.
as always a brilliant evening was had by all.

financial issues

"No sheep on the mountain nor boat on the lake
No coin in my coffer to keep me awake
Nor corn in my garner, nor fruit on my tree,
Yet the Maid of Llanwellyn smiles sweetly on me.

No sheep on the mountain nor goats,
No horses to offer nor boats,
Only hens I have by me,
they are one, two and three,
Yet the Maid of Llanwellyn smiles sweetly on me.

Rich Owen will tell you, with eyes full of scorn,
Threadbare is my coat and my hosen are torn.
Scoff on, my rich Owen,
for faint is thy glee
When the Maid of Llanwellyn smiles sweetly on me.

CHORUS

The farmer rides proudly to market and fair
Whilst the clerk at the ale house still claims the great chair,
But of all our proud fellows, oh the proudest I'll be,
When the Maid of Llanwellyn smiles sweetly on me.

CHORUS"


a song that spoke to me somewhat over the course of today's money problems.

(no offence to my bro, owen...)

really looking forward to friday's ceilidh.
if you wanna come, we're going.
tell us if you want to meet up.
it'll be awesome.

phew-wee!!

I am also 75% British, just like
Michael Caine and Andy. I think we are more likely to settle on the east coast though, in a lovely place called Texas!!

it is hot here - 24c which is 75f for you americans who don't do centigrade!! I know it's not up there with Texas but for us it's hot - apparently today is the hottest day of this year so far, although not yet as hot as last year got.

last day at work tomorrow - yipee!! about to go to the pub for a leaving do and then andy and i are going to lunch at the olive garden tomorrow which is quickly becoming one of my favourite places to eat.

I am 77.5% British

just like Michael Caine
Though you know your way around London you are most likely to retire to the West Coast of the USA.

Take the Brit Quiz at darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm
Quiz written by Daz

reflections upon mr wilkins' reflections

have just read the post si put up about the world war and people dying and has got me thinking again about being a dad (clever link to the other post i put up...).
i kinda said about it on the weekend away i had with dan, lol etc where we went away to play axis & allies, a historically based board game about world war 2. the way you play it was just amassing huge armies and then throwing them into war against each other. and it all seemed so blazé (sp?) the way it happens and when i actually thought about what that would have looked like on a small scale, with hundreds of thousands of people dying, it suddenly got a bit more scary. but i guess that's what it was like. generals pushing around counters, sending thousands to the death. reminds me a lot of various scenes in "blackadder goes forth"... "the pianist" too.
but anyway. me being a dad.
the realization that all those people dying are all somebody's children. i mean bea's still only pregnant, but the time, effort, energy, expense in that alone is staggering. add to that 20 years of raising a kid up, investing everything you have into them, protecting them, teaching them, loving and supporting them. everything you are going into who they are and for them to then just die so easily and so seemingly pointlessly is just unbelievable.
this might be sounding all a bit odd and "doesnt it put it all into perspective" or whatever, but this is where being a dad is really starting to hit home for me - the value of another persons life.
knowing that they are loved.
how much you'll give to another person.

so there we are - its been a long time in the waiting but theres a post about one of the (slightly more serious than facial hair) ways i'm responding to becoming a dad.

grey hair

have been noticing a small patch of grey hairs starting to form on the right hand side of my chin. am not actually that bothered by it all - perhaps its a sign of my impending fatherhood. am probably a bit more gutted about the fact i quite liked the way my beard is actually slightly red tinted, and not just brown.
and now its going grey.

oh well.

uk bloggers

have now got their own section, given the increasing amount of people coming over here but not actually in sheffield

more new stuff

well actually not a great deal thats new, but the side panel's been changed just a little bit - all the pics are off the original server and into basic html form, which translates roughly as "ant's happy, and the page should all load up quicker".
i dont however have a photo for naomi high, si if anyone (ie naomi!) could send me one they like it can get added a lot easier than it would've before. tahnk you.

some more colour

since bea's sudden pregnancy induced reading spurt i thought i'd add a reading list on to the side there - wont get as big as the film one though)
also added pics to the music section too.
hope you like them...

cheeses....

have had a very productive weekend with bea's parents up - shifted the bed out of the attic, lined the walls of the little room and fixed the 2nd step again.
went out to thyme last night for a meal which was (as always) delicious, and as a break from the usual, i finished the night off with a cheese board. cant remember what they all were, but there included a very tasty blue cheese, a buffalo milk cheese, a creamy brie like one and another. also noticed that all the cheeses were made by women.
think i'll be having cheese boards again if they're of a similar caliber. the resulting dreams were pretty odd too, but thankfully cant remember them too much..

what a lovely day it is today.

the little room is coming along very well at the moment, and its great to see barnaby again.
we're off to the cask & cutler this evening for a few drinks if anyone fancies coming down to see us. phone if you need directions.
i even won a little painting competition the other day.

it's the little things!

I have just been chatting with one of the diabled students at work - he is visually impaired and started losing his sight a few years ago. He was saying that even though he worked as a driver for most of his career, it wasn't giving up driving that bothered him when he started losing his sight. It was the little things such as cutting his toe-nails. I agreed - at the weekend I attempted to cut my toe-nails and it was really hard with my bump in the way. Painting them was manageable but with unique paint effects that I wouldn't normally use! Then yesterday I cried because I had bumped my head for about the fourth time by trying to do something that I used to be able to do without bumping my head - fortunately I had four batteries in my hand so I slammed these down on the floor which didn't help so much as make me feel a bit of release!

bea & baby

here are some pictures of a very pregnant bea for those of you who requested them and for those to whom they were promised.

Tru Dawgma ? Straight Tribbin'

ok - heres one for abigail to have a read and maybe offer a few translations where possible. if anyones gonna understand this its gonna be her or rob...

Eschatological know-how, not evangelical lowbrow
Postmodern cash cow
Revelation based on canonization
The millennial nation looms in dispensation
I spit pedagogy orthodoxy
Prima manifesto in the incarnation proxy
Imprimatur, my roots be the hypostatic union
The theocratic fusion, infusin'

Portiuncula mentalities be waxin'
Straight tribulation factions gaining esoteric traction
No apology, my strict epistemology
Will influence doxology and put you in a quandary
Infralapsarian? tribulation prose
Makes me wary and your pragmatism's blatantly exposed
I Didache your Tim Lahaye while rapture spankin' Jerry Jenkins?
Now cogitate this great awakenin'

Hook
Tribba-what (what?), Tribba-who (who?)
Flex eschatological like straight tribbahs do (2x)

Rapture, comin' at ya, gonna fetch ya, gonna catch ya
I be a theocrat with exegesis comin' natural
Ontology gazes in the wake of Armageddon
Pleroma in soma, not a disconnected remnant
Reviviscence is valid and callus as operatum
While your unbelief and disposition won't even fade Him
Cardiognosis, He knows your thoughts and your dreams
Like the Sadducees, your heresy is leaking out the seams

What, what, who? Henotheistic views
Are romanticized, sanitized, still ain't true
But from the parthenogenesis to the Parousia
We got imputed righteousness until the day we meet up
Since the ascension we got metaphysical nominalists
Refer to Postulates for obedientialis
Hidden like the pseudepigrapha in the
Deuterocanonical pack ? the apost-hata's back!

the collier approacheth

yon this very week coming, tween days of tues and frid, our true friend master barnaby collier esq shalt rise up from londinium and reside unto our country abode.
all rejoice.

Christian Hip-Hop Artist's Lyrics Too Theologically Complex for Rap Fans

NEW YORK ? As the hip-hop industry's tradition of wholesome, thought-provoking lyrics has slowly decayed since the 80's, one artist wants to buck the trend by adding a new level of linguistic complexity to his lyrics. Tru Dawgma, a self-proclaimed "exegetical elaborator," insists that his new style will help counteract hip-hop's recent reputation of promoting only superficiality, sex, drugs, and violence. But not everyone appreciates Dawgma's approach, as God's Fro Records recently terminated his contract and stated, "Most of our listeners don't have a GED, let alone an M. Div.!"

the holy observer has a new issue including this article - more here

nothern lights

got through the first 140 pages in an exam i've been sitting in - it's one seriously engaging, dark book.
it's imagary is so well done - i cant think of another book i've ever read that is so able to put you into the story to the point you can hear, smell, see the things going on around it. the fantasy of its background walking a perfect balance between reality and alternative. the communities created, the mysteries, the characters, relations, the creativity of a similar universe thats different in the most magical ways.

cant believe its taken me this long to getting round to reading it. i'm thoroughly impressed.