made yummy cookies today - invited both the boys to join in but neither interested. they were enjoying having a wonderful time with paints and straws at the kitchen table. discovered a great site called Poisson Rouge which is full of wonderful things to do and explore. Robin is hooked and loves to show everyone. He even tried to describe it to our neighbour and couldn't find a word in the English language which expressed how amazing it was so he made one up! i wish i could remember what it was but sadly it slipped right out my mind.
also today had train tracks out and had fun walk to nursery in the rain - we told them about Poisson Rouge so they found it on their computer and Robin mostly played that i believe. we took a tram to the university and walked up to Weston Park Museum where we met chloe and her girls and mirja and her daughter. there is the most amazing bug exhibition on at the moment with a wonderful film that i'd like to go back and watch by myself!
home on the bus and andy made the most delicious japanese miso noodle soup. yummy yummy yummy!
today was a most enjoyable home-ed day!
Monday, April 27
Sunday, April 26
some thoughts on socialisation
so these are very raw thoughts. i realise from experience that it's unlikely i'll come back and blog them once they're refined so i'm going to spill it out now.
(if you get bored at any point there's a paragraph at the bottom that sums up what we did today! pics to follow)
i have often considered that our culture expects our children to be far more social that 'natural' at an early age. we accept the 'clingy' phase as if it is some truth simply because the majority of kids go through it.
i remember at nursery the staff peeling a child from my arms because the child didn't want to leave me and me feeling between a rock and a hard place because no one at the nursery empathised with my view that my child was just letting me know that he wasn't ready and that was fine with me (although in reality, struggling with the difficulties of pregnancy i found myself making huge compromises and walking away from a crying child because i felt so unable to keep giving when i felt so crap). now i wish i could turn back the time on that. both my boys have generally been fairly social but also making it clear when they feel unable to be in a social environment. for a long time i didn't realise robin's aggression was his way of saying 'i need mummy to intervene/rescue/comfort me' and that is sad for me.
looking at robin now we have lots of thoughts and wondering about him and how he is socially - what others expect of him and what he can manage. on the RU site today someone had posted a reply to a thread and said the following which really turned a light on for me:
for along time now God keeps calling me back to a place of trust. LOVE TRUSTS. trusting God, trusting myself, trusting andy, trusting the kids, trusting others. not blind trust such as leaving my kids with a stranger but trusting that my children/husband/myself is always trying their hardest at any given time. i've been reflecting recently on this thought that at any given time my boys are trying their hardest. in a culture of high behavioural expectation and high social expectation it is a challenge not to slip into regularly practiced coercive and controlling parenting. examples would be directing my child to say hello/goodbye when they are choosing not to. telling my child to share when that child has choice and my response could be to support the other child for whom disappointment is now their reality.
further thoughts on the reflection of trust is our response to our children when accidents happen. a child knocks a bottle of milk onto the floor and it smashes. so often parents, including me, respond without thought and give the child a lesson in being more careful, thinking of what they are about to do before they do it, waste of food, danger of broken glass on floor etc etc. i have caught myself doing things such as this on a number of occasions and in the last few months i have tried to observe myself and catch my response so that instead of the above i respond as if my best friend was visiting and had done the same thing. if my best friend came over and knocked the bottle of milk onto the floor i would say, "not to worry. i'll grab a cloth and dustpan. i've got loads more milk/i'll pop to the shops and pick up more milk in a minute. you take a seat and i'll sort it out". freedom, peace and joy in place of anger, shame and distrust.
for me, the hardest part in all this is staying peaceful in it all rather than letting years of other programing take over on autopilot. it is hard to start questioning the 'truths' of our culture's way of doing things and then responding to what comes out of that questioning. it sets you apart and sends you off down a road less traveled.
i want to start talking about the socialisation of home ed which is something lots of home edders get asked about. i'll do that in a new post another time!
TODAY we had a BBQ, boys enjoyed playing with pots and soil and stones, creating rescue re-enactments on the earth patch, counting out sweets to meet a 25p budget, watched woodlice and ants go about their business, pulled a wriggly worm out long and discovered that it could no longer wriggle, made up songs, sang favourite songs, remembered forgotten songs, shared a favourite film with a neighbour, talked about where glass comes from and how you can make glass from sugar at home, talked about where robots come from, who makes robots, where does grass come from, and plastic and rubber and can you make plastic from olive oil - what about from chicken or noodles? then decided that olive oil, noodles and chicken couldn't make plastic but could make yummy tea. spied a bumblebee in some long grass, filled the pond with water after noticing that some tadpoles were drying out when they got stranded, set up an animal hospital for a stuffed toy, played football.
it was a good day!
(if you get bored at any point there's a paragraph at the bottom that sums up what we did today! pics to follow)
i have often considered that our culture expects our children to be far more social that 'natural' at an early age. we accept the 'clingy' phase as if it is some truth simply because the majority of kids go through it.
i remember at nursery the staff peeling a child from my arms because the child didn't want to leave me and me feeling between a rock and a hard place because no one at the nursery empathised with my view that my child was just letting me know that he wasn't ready and that was fine with me (although in reality, struggling with the difficulties of pregnancy i found myself making huge compromises and walking away from a crying child because i felt so unable to keep giving when i felt so crap). now i wish i could turn back the time on that. both my boys have generally been fairly social but also making it clear when they feel unable to be in a social environment. for a long time i didn't realise robin's aggression was his way of saying 'i need mummy to intervene/rescue/comfort me' and that is sad for me.
looking at robin now we have lots of thoughts and wondering about him and how he is socially - what others expect of him and what he can manage. on the RU site today someone had posted a reply to a thread and said the following which really turned a light on for me:
I think with any child, autistic or not, it's good to look at things from the mindset that they might have sensory issues and their social skills and understanding of situations are not fully developed yet. That's true for all kids: their nervous systems are immature and they just haven't been on Earth that long. Autistic kids have more trouble with this stuff, but all kids can have sensory overload (adults too, but kids get it more often) and they're all still learning social skills and empathy. I think it's something all parents should keep in mind.
for along time now God keeps calling me back to a place of trust. LOVE TRUSTS. trusting God, trusting myself, trusting andy, trusting the kids, trusting others. not blind trust such as leaving my kids with a stranger but trusting that my children/husband/myself is always trying their hardest at any given time. i've been reflecting recently on this thought that at any given time my boys are trying their hardest. in a culture of high behavioural expectation and high social expectation it is a challenge not to slip into regularly practiced coercive and controlling parenting. examples would be directing my child to say hello/goodbye when they are choosing not to. telling my child to share when that child has choice and my response could be to support the other child for whom disappointment is now their reality.
further thoughts on the reflection of trust is our response to our children when accidents happen. a child knocks a bottle of milk onto the floor and it smashes. so often parents, including me, respond without thought and give the child a lesson in being more careful, thinking of what they are about to do before they do it, waste of food, danger of broken glass on floor etc etc. i have caught myself doing things such as this on a number of occasions and in the last few months i have tried to observe myself and catch my response so that instead of the above i respond as if my best friend was visiting and had done the same thing. if my best friend came over and knocked the bottle of milk onto the floor i would say, "not to worry. i'll grab a cloth and dustpan. i've got loads more milk/i'll pop to the shops and pick up more milk in a minute. you take a seat and i'll sort it out". freedom, peace and joy in place of anger, shame and distrust.
for me, the hardest part in all this is staying peaceful in it all rather than letting years of other programing take over on autopilot. it is hard to start questioning the 'truths' of our culture's way of doing things and then responding to what comes out of that questioning. it sets you apart and sends you off down a road less traveled.
i want to start talking about the socialisation of home ed which is something lots of home edders get asked about. i'll do that in a new post another time!
TODAY we had a BBQ, boys enjoyed playing with pots and soil and stones, creating rescue re-enactments on the earth patch, counting out sweets to meet a 25p budget, watched woodlice and ants go about their business, pulled a wriggly worm out long and discovered that it could no longer wriggle, made up songs, sang favourite songs, remembered forgotten songs, shared a favourite film with a neighbour, talked about where glass comes from and how you can make glass from sugar at home, talked about where robots come from, who makes robots, where does grass come from, and plastic and rubber and can you make plastic from olive oil - what about from chicken or noodles? then decided that olive oil, noodles and chicken couldn't make plastic but could make yummy tea. spied a bumblebee in some long grass, filled the pond with water after noticing that some tadpoles were drying out when they got stranded, set up an animal hospital for a stuffed toy, played football.
it was a good day!
Friday, April 24
fun things
the boys had great fun a couple of days ago turning themselves into soldiers, which in their world simply means decorating their body with felt-tip pens and glitter! Robin had a great time posing for the camera and Jos kindly did his own thing but keeing Robin's modesty intact at all times!
so then the sun was shining and we decided to grab our swim things and head down to the Peace Gardens and play in the fountains. It was so fun. The boys have such different characters - Jos goes straight for the water and introduces himself eagerly whilst enjoying the thrill of the cold water and the surprises that the fountains bring. Robin, on the other hand, takes his time with the water but heads off to seek out the surrounding areas and check out all the other people who have come down for the afternoon. I did not partake in the swimming costume thing in the centre of town but I did facilitate some water play with bottles and took some good photos! Robin is a budding photographer and took the one of me.
so then the sun was shining and we decided to grab our swim things and head down to the Peace Gardens and play in the fountains. It was so fun. The boys have such different characters - Jos goes straight for the water and introduces himself eagerly whilst enjoying the thrill of the cold water and the surprises that the fountains bring. Robin, on the other hand, takes his time with the water but heads off to seek out the surrounding areas and check out all the other people who have come down for the afternoon. I did not partake in the swimming costume thing in the centre of town but I did facilitate some water play with bottles and took some good photos! Robin is a budding photographer and took the one of me.
Tuesday, April 21
hee hee hee!
just changed status on facebook to 'blogging again' and the security words for my post were 'growth' and 'extoll' - how apt for an unschooling approach!
sunny days, everythings, a-ok!
the last couple of weeks i've been thinking a lot on radical unschooling (RU). i have no idea how to define it succinctly but this is what is said on the christian unschooling site
i started thinking about it because of lovely niki who told me about all this fab stuff she had found on the interweb about it. i have to say i am rather grabbed by it all and am thankful for a wise husband who slows me down and ensures that as a family we make gradual changes.
i think i'm going to start blogging again regularly, partly for myself, partly for the LEA (if ever needed!) and then for anyone else who wants to follow and see where we're up to and what the next crazy thing we're doing is!
here are some links that i've really enjoyed in the last couple of weeks:
sandra dodd
Dayna Martin youtube
Radical Unschoolers Network
Christian Unschooling
niki wrote the following quote up on their easel and it has been flowing back and forth through my mind since:
2 Corinthians 9:6-8 (Amplified Bible)
so there we go. join me on the journey if it isn't too crazy for you! i would really enjoy reading your comments too!
At the time when John Holt coined the term unschooling, it simply meant 'not schooled', as in, educated elsewhere than at a school — or home schooled. However, I don't believe that homeschooling as it exists today was exactly what John Holt had in mind when he encouraged parents to teach their own children. John Holt had a vision for an education that was rather different to what existed in the schools he encountered.
Today, the term unschooling has come to refer to a specific type of home education, i.e. education that is in the control of the one doing the learning. And I think this term more accurately describes the kind of learning experience John Holt had in mind.
In the UK, this educational approach is better known as autonomous education. Unschooling has also been described as child-centred learning, self-directed learning, delight-directed learning, and development-directed learning.
Unschooling is the freedom to learn what you want to learn, when you want to learn it, how you want to learn it, where you want to learn it, and for your own reasons.
Essentially, unschooling is self-education.
i started thinking about it because of lovely niki who told me about all this fab stuff she had found on the interweb about it. i have to say i am rather grabbed by it all and am thankful for a wise husband who slows me down and ensures that as a family we make gradual changes.
i think i'm going to start blogging again regularly, partly for myself, partly for the LEA (if ever needed!) and then for anyone else who wants to follow and see where we're up to and what the next crazy thing we're doing is!
here are some links that i've really enjoyed in the last couple of weeks:
sandra dodd
Dayna Martin youtube
Radical Unschoolers Network
Christian Unschooling
niki wrote the following quote up on their easel and it has been flowing back and forth through my mind since:
6[Remember] this: he who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly, and he who sows generously [[a]that blessings may come to someone] will also reap generously and with blessings.
7Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He [b]takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without) a cheerful (joyous, "prompt to do it") giver [whose heart is in his giving].(A)
8And God is able to make all grace (every favor and [c]earthly blessing) come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need [d]be self-sufficient [possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation].
2 Corinthians 9:6-8 (Amplified Bible)
so there we go. join me on the journey if it isn't too crazy for you! i would really enjoy reading your comments too!
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