praise god, drink beer, sing hymns!!!

second attempt at this post....
had an excellent time at greenbelt - p[robably the best one we've had yet - after past ones we've had to lower our expectancies of what we can do with kids, and with that in mind we probably did more than we expected.
had a great time watching nizlopi - weren't sure how it would work out with just the two of them but with the bassist beatboxing as well, it was awesome - gave robin an opportunity to dance too.
my morning jacket i'd heard before briefly but was blown away by them live - not sure why, they were just amazing to see.
and probably the highlight of the festival for me at least was the "beer and hymns" that included the sermon that makes the above title - simply take an organic beer tent, a couple hundred merry folks and a bunch of hymns and it made for one very enjoyable evening of singing and drinking. so popular was it that it got put on the following night and then the night after that.

lots of other good talks too including several on crazy shenanigans by shane claibourne, one titled "god bless adam and steve" by john bell and a couple of seminars on how to do podcasting...
just gotta get some photos up now...

freaky....

jompin chop?

johnny rotten?

and in other bizarre-ness, robins favourite phrase of the moment (aside from "daddy beer!!" or course) is "bob bor-derr" which translates as "bob the builder", his dvd of choice, and most commonly requested item. and then ben fuller and i spend all day yesterday pulling up carpets from our house ready to get painted, and when robin went up to his bath leaving ben and i he waved to us saying "bye bye bor-derrs"
how cute!!

this is unbelievable!!!

a 5m long lego aircraft carrier
more pics here

the world cup is over...

....and there are a lot of emergency services sirens going off this evening.

places i've visited - not that many really.

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

it has started

well - this is my first day in my new job working at creative stream - trying to figure out how to use a mac... hmm. my computer's not arrived yet.
bea's gone to filey, n yorks with helen dT for a few days holiday.
things going alrightin general - robin sleeping pretty well, jos sleeping pretty good too.
hmmm. yep

exodus

a start date has been set - as of monday the 5th june, i will be working at the home office just 2 days a week, spending the first 3 days of each week working with ant, cliff and andy woods at creative stream doing a mixture of web design, graphic design, maybe even some website/ database programming if i get a chance to learn it, alongside SAGE book-keeping and other project/ contract management/ admin.
the plan is to be able to leave my job at the homeoffice for good as soon as possible (ie when it looks like work at creative will be sustainable and regular enough to do so, hopefully within 6 months), but in the mean time i'll be working as a self employer web/ graphic designer.
in so many ways this is a dream come true - working in an environment that is project based, creative, visual, challenging, office based, uses computers, small company, has a future... everything i want from a job!
very exciting times.

jos is 5 weeks old today. he's doing really well and got weighed by the health visitor and is 12lb 11.5oz.

things are hard work - robin is extremely over-tired due to a number of cumulative factors and as a result is not sleeping well or going to sleep easily which just makes things worse.

had an awesome time on saturday night when our texan friends brian and whitney and their 2 boys came for the evening. hadn't seen them for 3 years but it felt like only 3 weeks. we ended the evening with a great time of prayer and they are now in orkney getting ready to explore scotland and find a place to settle there.

bizzaro!!!

two really wierd things to look at/ watch:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/44210/
http://www.citynoise.org/article/3629

something really upsetting happened yesterday so i am feeling particularly crappy today. have been awake since 3am being upset and woried. no doubt this 'thing' will get resolved soon but i feel like it has put me back a bit.

jos is great but very unsettled in the evenings - when he gats windy. quite normal for a little one but i really want to do some knitting!

two mini miracles happened on sunday - had an ansafone message offering practical help with shopping etc and also a friend popped by out of the blue with a meal and some sweeties!

juliet is back from her travels (she is a really good friend who lives half way up the road) so i have a nice cup-of-tea-getaway!

new photos should be up very shortly...

thought i'd post a little!

not doing so great so if you are the prasying type, youre prayers would be great. very emotional - sometimes feel i am only just holding things together. i've read andy's posts about some of what happened and in my head they feel much more traumatic and dramatic. my midwife is very supportive and she also found the birth experience very traumatic. my health visitor has told me about some specialist midwives who do something called 'birth after-thoughts' for women like me who have experienced trauma surrounding their birth experience. jos is doing great and in some ways the 4 days in the childrenb's hospital seem so far away. they never found what was 'wrong' with him and i tend to think my homeopath is on he right track when sdhe says it could well have been his way of balancing his body after all the puncture wounds (canula, blood samples etc) from our initial time in hospital immediately after he was born.

through all of it i found peace in God and he really was my rock but now i feel a bit lost and all at sea. i'm also struggling with where our faith is at because up until we started using conventional medicine with robin for the eczema, we had loads of faith for healing. now that seems to have diminished and we hardly pray for God to heal the eczema - it's as though we've resigned to the fact that medicine is what we have to settle for.

it would be lovely to hear from people - we have both felt quite alone and isolated in all the has happened and the aftermath of it. i know that some people like to have space etc but let's not forget that andy and i are the couple who tried to get home early from honeymoon becauuse we missed our friends!

Something of an update then? (for those who don't know)

Joss got admitted to hospital very early on Sunday morning due to a high temperature and some irregular breathing - they got him on antibiotics and paracetemol (to get his temp down), and then did a lumbar puncture to find out if there's any particular infection going on in there.
This then meant bea has been living in hospital since then (not a good Mothers day!) waiting for them to decide if they need to keep him in on antibiotics for another 7-10 days.
The tests came back today as all clear so they'll keep him in for 24 more hours without antibiotics and keep monitoring him, and assuming there's nothing wrong in the meantime, they should be out by this ime tomo.
At last!
Having said that, a doctor also noticed he had a slight heart murmour today - apparently they're not uncommon, and often heal naturally, but it's still not a nice thing to hear.
Robin's eczema's been a bit up and down recently too - as long as he's been smothered in steroids he's fine, take them away, and things go downhill again, so that?s been really disheartening too.
On top of that, bea's sore throat is also still there.
So there we are - it's all a bit crazy right now - any of you out there inclined to pray, we'd really value it right now!

day 5: more photos.

(click to enlarge)

Josiah Indi Marshall

born 20th March, weighing 9lb 10oz.
labour went brilliantly well, and he was born quite suddenly at 14.57 at home in a birthing pool in our kitchen.









anyway, whilst we had to go in to hospital when the umbilical cord snapped (not sure how much blood josiah had lost), everyones home now (at last) and everythings going well - robin seems pretty excited by it all too.

nothing yet...

...we're now on borrowed time.

not long to go....

...less than a week till the due date, #2 is iminent.

the many hats of robin

(click to enlarge)

happy christmas!!

New cast for Harry Potter

Been meaning to put this one up for a while.
I'd been thinking about who I'd cast for new characters in the new Harry Potter movies (ie books 5 & 6). Then a few of us were talking about it and it seems we have very different ideas.
So who would you cast for the following characters:
(Nymphodora) Tonks
Kingsley Shacklebolt
Delores Umbridge
Rufus Scrimgeor
Bellatrix LaStrange
Horace Slughorn
Mundungus Fletcher
Young Voldemort
Fenrir Greyback
Bill Weasley

Comment up!

more potter thoughts...

so, has anyone out there been thinking who the R A B is at the end on book 6? maybe not, but it seems there are a lot out there who have. the main one out there is regulus black, sirius' brother who was supposedly killed by one of voldemorts death eaters a while ago.
i thought it was a bit tenuous, until someone pointed out in the norwegen translation of the book, sirius is called sirius svaart (svaart being norweigen for black, and then at the end of book 6, the locket has R A S on it, not R A B.
plus there was the heavy, hard to open locket in the cabinet at grimauld place that was cleared out in book 5...
go here for some more hard to follow forum ramblings...

what's my theology?

ironically (is it?) when i first saw that i was the below, i thought "ewww - postmodern? what a cliche!".
maybe it would've been more ironic (or ironical as the americans might say) if i thought, "eww - labels - don't pigeon-hole me!"

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. Emergent/Postmodern 68% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 50% Neo orthodox 50% Reformed Evangelical 43% Modern Liberal 36% Classical Liberal 36% Roman Catholic 32% Fundamentalist 29% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

baby no 2

and here's a photo of the bump at 20 weeks.

an update...

have finally realised a long term goal of getting the big lebowski DVD at a bargain price - no surprise then that it was fopp that came up trumps at just £5. just need some milk, vodka...

bea and i have moved onto the 3rd series of this excellent programme - was particularly confused by the initial opening sequence with nate err... can't say anymore.

and lastly, a website that's come to light on this grey and rainy morning is mike the headless chicken, the story of a chicken that survived 18 months without a head!

something else then...

went up to fargate at lunch time and there was a huge crowd watching this guy getting tied up in a straight jacket and wrapped in chains. and there was this tiny suitcase on the floor so we decided to stop and watch thinking this could be interesting.
unfortunately we missed the beginning where he presumably explained what death defying trick of physical agility he was about to perform.
so after loads of playing up to the crowd and talking up street performers about how everyone should give a couple of quid to keep it going, he got ready for the great finale...
with a dramatic countdown he proceeded to wriggle a bit, jump around a bit and lie on the floor and then take the chains and straight jacket off.
anti-climax.
no getting in the suitcase or anything.
boo.

see - loads of time to blog random thoughts and events.

well, this is fun...

another day in the marine core, another day on the farm... every paycheck a fortune...
it was mentioned last night that seeing as i have access to the internet at work (albeit limited), i probably should blog more.
so.. err... what is there....
going to see my friend from work, jack, playing bass in the guild this evening at the grapes - finally making it to one of their gigs with bea. very exciting. robin'll be left with the wonderful andy swan (and fiancee jane) with whom we have an excellent understanding - he babysits robin, we supply him with homemade raspberry jam.
that'll do for now.

six feet under...

you know how every month or so, a blog goes up on here, and that once every 6 months or so there's mention of the latest series bea and i have discovered 3 years after it was first made?
it started with the office, then it was spaced. more recently there was scrubs (2nd series hugh - how'you getting on with it?!), and now it's six feet under - still not completely taken by it - find most of the characters a bit irritating in a slightly cliched 'i'm messed up' kinda way - how they spend half their time having a go at their siblings for being immature, and then being immature themselves. especially claire, "the angry teenager". having said all that it is still very compelling stuff to watch, and suitably addictive as these types of HBO series tend to be.
so thanks go this time to pete and mary david for giving us something to fit into every spare hour of the day. currently on episode 5 i think, with the usual "we need to watch the next episode" vs "i'm too tired... need to sleep" conflict going on as the credit roll each time. at least with scrubs it was only another 23.5 mins as opposed to 50 odd mins...

the 31st "steelcity" beer festival

I've broken the blogging silence to bring news of the above beer festival this weekend - we'll be going on the saturday - it's kid friendly so robin'll hopefully make it with his new shoes too... just gotta keep him off the skullsplitter...
for a full beer list see here - am looking forward to trying the Smiling Assassin and the Bear Ass Bitter if they're still there.
It costs £4.50 entry but that includes £1.50 returnable deposit for the beer glass. there?s also a charity pub quiz in the afternoon.
more details on our plans to follow - hopefully before the event and not in 2 months time.
alternatively, give us a call if you're interested in coming along...

an update...

...on robins (and our) sleeping.
since Bea went down to Cheltenham and Herefordshire there was a certain sense of appprehension about how robin will transfer over to sleeping with Bea instead of me, but basically he's done it fine, so well done Robin!
i think this whole ordeal has been far more stressfull for us than it has him - i guess he was more ready for it than we realised.

Off to Greenbelt tomorrow - yay!

a mars a day helps you work, rest and play...

The Red Planet is about to be spectacular!
>
> This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter
> that
> will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in
> recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is
> in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on
> Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be
> certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth
> in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as
> 60,000 years before it happens again.
>
> The encounter will culminate on August 27th when
> Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and
> will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in
> the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9
> and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest
> 75-power magnification


>
> Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
>
> Mars will be easy to spot. At the
> beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m.
>
> and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.
>
> By the end of August when the two planets are
> closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its
> highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty
> convenient to see something that no human being has
> seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at
> the beginning of August to see Mars grow
> progressively brighter and brighter throughout the
> month.
>
>
> Share this with your children and grandchildren.
>
> NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN



i think times refer to england

taming the shrew (or weaning the doormouse)

after several nights unrest due to a underproducing milk supply and a voracious little doormouse, the time for nocturnal weaning seems to have approached slowly and steadily at first, and then a lot quicker as time went on.
breaking point came on saturday night and the breastfeeding counsellor was called in to offer helpful hints and sage guidance.
so last night we took the plunge - the plan was thus:
1. bea sleeps in the attic
2. robin sleeps in our bed
3. armed with only a bottle of water and a cuddly elephant i sleep in the same bed with him.
4. when he wakes up for a midnight snack, i'm there to comfort, console and cajole him back to sleep with the previously mentioned items.
5. bea refrains from coming down when he's still screaming at the top of his lungs at 4am looking for her through tear streaked eyes under the bed and in the drawers.
6. we make it out the other end and robin finally collapses from axhaustion.
7. we collapse from exhaustion.
8. repeat for a few more days.

what actually happened:
1. through 3. as before.
4. robin woke up, made a few noises, looked around for Mama who he was sure was there when he dropped off 4 hours ago.
5. Dada lept to action. No sooner had he said "no booby", Robin promtly dropped straight back off to sleep again.
6. with an anti-climactic sense of confusion and apprehension, I also fall asleep again.
7. repeat these revised steps 4. through 6. seven or so more times, which takes us to 7.15am, 15 minutes after our cut off point/ wake up time and Bea returns to a sleepy but generally rested and happy little doormouse.
8. we're all a bit sleepy, but very releived.
9. hopefully repeat for a few more days.

happy birthday andy!

today andy is 28 years old - hooray!!

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday dear andy,
happy birthday to you
xx

sorry this post is going up so late in the day but it will be perfect for our american friends who are just getting going after a late morning coffee.

also, today we were going to get our van back but paul (the guy who's doing it up)had to shut up shop because his partner went into labour. please pray that her delivery goes smoothly. it seems that more births have comlications and intervention than not which is really sad. interestingly, if i had been in hospital, it is likely that i would have had intervention. maybe even a c-section because they probably wouldn't have let me push for so long.

i am shattered at the moment. robin is doing much better but he is feeding non-stop at night and i am finding it really disruptive. i have decied, against all my hopes and dreams, to get him off night-time boob. andy and i are going to get a plan together once i'm out of 1st trimester exhaustion. having talked to debbie jones about weaning it sounds like you have a few really difficult nights to push through before you come out the other side.

i hope everyone else is well and sparkly.

my fingers smell of roast chicken even though i keep washing them.

today i took robin to the doctors as he has a rash all over his body and also a temperature at night. he's generally not himself. the doctor thought what was going on was fascinating and said that robin's lymph nodes were up and also the back of his throat was red - must be why he keeps shoving his fingers back there! so we just have to keep an eye on him. supposedly keep his temperature down but i boycott that advice becasue i trust that God caused our bodies to run temperatures to kill bugs so we would get better quicker and also have healthier immune systems. this also goes in line with various alternative medicines too.

andy's birthday is on friday - crazy that he will be 28. i was really surprised when i realised the other day that i was 23 when i got married. my birthday isn't until march and jen's birthday was on tuesday but also offcially on monday because she was going to france on tuesday.

i am meant to be having my afternoon nap but i am struggling to sleep so i thought i would blog. i don't have a lot to say but the roast chicken we had last night at dan's was lush. lush is now an official word of the english language - bring it on!

here is a picture that i thought was very lovely:

i'm sooo bored...

thought i'd see if i can get a blog up via email from work.
harry potter's just got a whole lot more.... errr... not sure what - wasn't
expecting what happened there. very sad.
not quite finished it yet - just a couple of chapters to go

not feeling great today

last night robin had a temperature and he is covered in a red rash. i was up a lot in the night with him because even though he was so tired he couldn't stay asleep for long. it was really hard and this morning i needed to go back to sleep. andy was amazing - i had told him that today i was giving him a whole day off to do what he wanted but in the end he took robin til lunch so that i could have lie-in (til 10.30 - Mmmm) and then get showered and stuff. i have continued to feel groggy and sick all day though.

but, good things is that shannon, debbie and abigail popped in as a surprise on their journey south. it was so good to see them all. got to go because it's time to bath robin but i'll talk more about their visit later i hope.

congratulations to andrew and debbie who have been married 18 years today!

hot diggidy dang! andy posts....

well... where to start?...
things are generally going really well.

I'm still enjoying going to work - this is almost entirely because of the people i sit with. having said that, one of them's going for other jobs, another is determined to do the band thing an the third is going to uni in september, so it won't last forever, and whilst us all splitting up and going our own separate ways may improve my productivity stats, it will return work to its usual mundane self.
still, i have a lot worse and not a lot better when it comes to employment.
on that note however i have been going for quite a few other jobs recently. obviously i've succeeded at none of them, but each time i get an interview which generally goes pretty well (having had so many, i can get a little complacent in them, having answered the same questions so many times), but each time, there seems to be something that prevents me getting the job. this would be the only thing that seems to be irritating my otherwise contented little world at the moment, the only reason that things are only "generally going well". its frustrating in that its always a different reason why i didn't get the job. its not as if its always my employment history or my interview technique or something else i can do something about. it seems to be nothing i can do to, just keep applying until i get one.

on the parenting, things are going well. last weekends birthday party and the naming day/ dedication was such a good event - they came off so much better than i could've hoped for - not even the weather ruined it. having come a year, and survived it has been an amazing thing in itself, something i never though i'd manage 11 months ago. you know how its hard to see how far you come in things - this would be one time where i really can see how far i've come. of course the homeopathy will have played a big part in that, but i'm now in a place, with the 2nd on the way where, whilst i'm a little daunted about the thought of two little robins running around, i'm so much more confident in us as parents, and don't feel the same scared apprehension i did just over a year ago.

what else is there? well, not a lot of time for much else... the painting is going well - it's really making me see the world in a different way - i've moved on from seeing rust on everything to seeing grey in most things - playing with transparency of colours, and the very subtle changes that can be made with paint as thin as milk.



and of course there's harry potter - i'm currently on chapter 23 of 30 in the latest book. bea's just finished and things are starting to hot up for me too.
very exciting times...

sometimes it's hard to be a woman, givin all your love to just one man...

i hate it when i get a song in my head that i don't like but i can't get rid of. with tammy wynette's song, it's even worse because i only know one line of it really - i thikn my brain will suffer from repetitive strain injury before the evening is out unless i can remedy it soon!

i am over half way through harry potter and loving it. can you believe that snape is actually a woman and that ron isn't really a child of the weasleys but is really hermione's brother?!! the only problem with reading potter is that i get very distracted from the fact that i should be sleeping, so my 2 hr afternoon naps are getting shorter because i feel a magnetic pull towards my book. not today though - today i slept for nearly 2 hrs and then read harry as atreat before robin woke up!

not long til greenbelt now - i'm really looking forward to it and i expect robin will spend some time at the children's festival which i think he'll love.

was so pleased that God helped me realise that my career is as a mum and being pregnant again means i just got a promotion. it is really hard sometimes when people around have different expectations and in particular i feel so crushed that sometimes people find it strange that i haven't persued a career before having kids. but the thing is, being a mum is an amazing career - possibly one of the hardest ones around but also one of the most rewarding. so good too to know that i have confirmation that i will have another promotion in 7 months time assuming all goes well and we stay healthy!

i am hoping to read a book called captivating by john and stasi eldridge after i complete potter. if anyone can be bothered to find links to this book or anything else worthy of a link in this post, then you can comment the,m. i am going to try and blog daily but i can't do links because they are a bit time consuming when i am against the time pressure of the bath running!

also - cathers is lush - i love her and today she made me feel very very very special.

clever, but not that clever...

the picture is supposed to be a frog potato i think - a very clever piece of computer worek. obviously not as clever as me though - they have got a potato frog growing off carrot leaves! still, in a world where most people probably never pull a carrot out of the ground, i suppose that is to be expected.

some more very exciting news...

andy and i are thrilleed to let you all know that we are expecting another baby! we haven't been able to put it on the blog yet 'cos we felt we should tell all the folks first and some were harder to get hold of than others.

anyway, i am due early march which means that knowing my luck the baby will probably turn up on my birthday in mid march! ooh, and also what's exciting is that i will undergo 'special' monitoring because i am likely to carry a large baby - they say the second is often heavier than the first. this feels kind of cool becasue it just means that they are supporting my choice for a home-birth and will do all in their power to try and make that possible.

we are very excited by this news because andy's dreams of breeding his own football team are happening quicker than anyone could have imagined!! (for those of you who don't know andy as well as you could, he hates football and the last comment was ironical).

please don't let this over-shadow the fact that robin took his first steps today - see below!

well well well...!

as if the weekend wasn't exciting enough, what with Robin's epic birthday party going on from 2pm until 1am, and then his naming & dedication on the sunday that was just amazing, Robin's now topped it all off by taking his first steps today.
it started with a shuffle, that might've been mistaken for a stumble, but then 3 steps just moments later made us think something was up. so we openned up the floor, gave him a target and cheered him on, and the next 7 definite steps carried him into history.

robin is one today!

where is your worth?

i've just been reading jen's blog and she posts about self worth. why is this such a massive issue for so many people. so many people worry about what others think of them whilst also not knowing what to think of themselves. it's also something that takes a lot of courage to be open about. for me, i feel so vulnerable because if people actually knew who i was then they might reject me. and it is sooooo hard to trust God when he tells us how amazing we are - that he rejoices over us with singing.

this is a quote from jen's post which i found really affirming:

"I shouldn't invest in what I do, I should invest in who I am. that is the thing of value god gave me: myself. it is worth time, care, nurture and investment."

we hope you can come...

oopos!!

on being a global citizen...

i feel challenged at the moment in terms of being a global citizen and my responsibility to love my global neighbours as i love myself. dan austin was hanging out with us over the lasty couple of days and really opened my eyes to the '4 wheel' culture we live in. this sounds odd cos i am quite aware of how evil cars are! i try to use mine as little as possible but maybe i don't pursue this action far enough - dan was talking about moving towards a '2 wheel' culture. i have a bike but i never use it. maybe because it means bringing it down from the shed which is all of 20 metres, or maybe beacuse sheffield is so hilly and today it's because it's so hot.

then there's the pressure the make poverty history campaign has been putting on world leaders and it is good to see that they have acted at the G* in favour of the poor but they have done only the bare minimum.

and then there's the convenience of our lifestyles in this country. i shock myself with the excuses i can come up with to explain away my actions - for example, on principal i try not to buy tesco brand products when i shop at tesco. sometimes there is no alternative brand so i buy tesco. i realise that i am further down the road of ethical consumerism than many but i am so far behind loads of people who count the cost of their consumer choices and choose to pay the price for going without certain items or paying more money because it actually is the only way trade can be fair at the mmoment is by poaying mor for fairly traded good.

today i read about recent uncoverings to do with wal mart (asda in the uk). and asda aren't the only baddies. we can make choices that don't abuse our global neighbours. we can act to bring world change to big issues. but it is so easy to be brought down by the voices of cynicism and hopelessness who believe we can never make a difference. i believe we can make a difference. Jesus showed us that and he is placing people on the earth in our time to show us that too.

this is the upside down photo

these pictures are fairly recent. i am most proud of the one of robin upside down. partly i am proud because i took it and andy and robin both look so cool. but mostly i am proud because it looks like something you would bring home from venture photography which is all the craze these days!

i like photos being everywhere but i never have enough frames. i like simple frames and clusteringthem all togather like we have in our kitchen and our bathroom. when i get more frames we will cluster pictures up the stairs too i think and then who knows where else. the pictures all get saved up in a big brown envelope in the attic and then i look through them every now and then and long for simple photo frames.

does anyone read our blog REGULARLY?

ww.postsecret.blogspot.com

this is all i want to share today...

www.postsecret.blogspot.com

blogtastic bea bleats on...

so i went to the bbc website today and saw this item in the news section. slightly odd that people are paid probably quite a lot of money to spend time looking at something which won't change the lives of many people at all - if anyone.

mowed the lawn yesterday and hugh made lush brownies and i also went to a bbq.

we have a newt in our pond. this is good and not good. good because it adds to the glowing feeling in my heart thqat comes with knowing that the pond i dug (with hodgson) is so attractive to wildlife. not good because it means my tadpoles are under threat of extinction because newts are carnivorous beasts.

off to the mighty 'nam tomorrow with my friend kate and her daughter miriam. back on monday in time for the ben folds gig. eek - need to find a baby sitter.

the marshalls are having a party - fancy dress of course!

the theme is "the bill (or another tv show)".
on friday 17th june
at our house
from 7.30 onwards
bring a bottle

look forward to seeing you

oh dear!

this afternoon we found mushrooms growing out of our newly turfed lawn. having pulled them up and googled them, it turns out they are of a seriously poisonous variety.

seems this turf isn't all it's cracked up to be - uit also came with a weed grass in it too. however, it does look fab even if it could be the early end of one of us. let's hope not!

just had a fab evening with cathers and mogul playing settlers of catan which is an awesome game. andy won first round and then he went off to be with his little men and i won second round in a stunning display of skill and mental agility!!!

entering scary territory... again

$2 falafel 22.08.00

a treasure chest of tailored variety
ageing paint peels away from the overhead fan
the best food for a fraction of the price
warm red tiles suppoet the stream of visitors
and the public phone greets those who dare to enter,
the temptation never to leave almost shouts

a table of devoured merchandise sits stranded
crying out for a hand to clear
if only it could be graced by traditional clientele

variety abounds all over

the music is powerful - a collage of metal against
utensils, formulated chatter and balti whining
the slim rustle of wax paper amounts to a crescendo
and then silences itself

stationary disco lights entertain the upward eyes
lanterns uplift the warm air scented
with comforting familiarity
minds change with the engrossing smell of
warmed pitta and fired meat
the falafel falls softly in my stomach
i am satisfied in more ways than one.






writing out poetry you haven't visited for a long time is strange. there is a fierce desire to make changes and adjustments and re-working but also an opposing strength which wants the moment to stay the same and so not change anything. i remeber learning at school in english class that some poet (can't remember who) always locked poems away for years before re-visiting them and making changes, only to lock them away again and go through the process all over. that is definitely not me. i think any poetry i write is about the moment and restoring a memory to me - mayeb like some crazy revision notes or something. he above poem takes me back to mamoons falafel bar in new york in an instant and i love that about it.

it feels so good being obedient to God!

andy and i have been feeling really burdened by the poorly van situation since it happened at Christmas. mostly because of money really - we want to honour God with the money he gives us and that means, to us, using it wisely and where he tells us to use it.

the other night i had a psychadelic dream all about the van. it was so ridiculous that i dismissed it as my mind just processing the van situation. then God told me later that day that tyhe dream was from him and we were neglecting the gift he gave us. i was a little confused cos we genuinely thought we were doing right by God with the money stuff. as it happens, all the things i've done since the dream to rectify the situation have all fallen into place amazingly and costing less than expected. hip hip hooray!

and every time i do something to take the van further along the road to glory (!) it feels great.

i was pondering the bit from the bible about 'freely you have received so freely give' which has been in and out of my mind since andrew jones blogged it. i always heard it as you didn't pay anything, or do anything for what you received so give without expecting anything back. but then i was reflecting on it and heard it differently - this time as you recived in freedom, without constraints, by grace, so give freely - from a place of freedom without constraints, by grace. this ties in with something my friend lindsay heard in some teaching recently: "if you want to come against the spirit of poverty you must be abundant in generosity".

not done much processing so the above is a raw cut of the fine-tuning that will no doubt go on over the next few days/weeks.

new pics

anyone would think it's robin's blog...
he's certainly growing up fast!

to publish or not to publish, that is the question...

here's the thing. i have written lots of poetry over the past few years and i love writing it - sometimes i might even share it with a couple of people. i notice, though, that some people have the confidence to publish poetry on their blogs. i am in awe of this and these people. when i was at school, poetry was something you picked apart until all the possible meaning was wrung out of it and what was left was a saggy bag of words. my english teacher once asked me to read out a poem in class and after asked how it made me feel. he then told me that my response was wrong. how can an emotional response be wrong?

this makes me really scared to publish anything but this is my blog and i am going to. therefore, please feel free to feel any way you want to, or , equally, to feel nothing at all as a result of reading any poetry i put up. so the following is something i wrote when i was on a 'mountain top'. right now i think i would express things differently but it is faith-building to remember and look forward.

GOD may 2000

you inspire my every thought
free postcards of refreshment
even as you breathe against my cheek
soft hairs rise - capturing your cares

did you kiss me? wrap your arms tight?
touch me deep within
take me into your dwelling place
make your dwelling place within my heart

you let me go
watch me run, jump, sing, weep
keep me warm under your wing - let me soar
speak to me, louder than silence

you are my perfection
a perfect beginning to life
my eyes ahut tight to see your glory
my heart's door is open-wide
come Lord

i see the sun in its brightness
i hear the sea sweat and rage
i know your embracing presence
you are all i need - God - all i need

forgive me
love me
lead me

show me the war to baghdad...

this is pretty funny.
and a bit disturbing too...

crap and bugger

i just wrote a really long, incredible interesting post and blogger lost it due to a publishing error.

sorry folks.

it's bank holiday again - yipee!!

last bank holiday we went turf-tastic and pulled up loads of paving slabs and gravel to put down our garden carpet! today i mowed the lawn for the second time - the smell of fresh cut grass is incredible. i also put some twine around my 'wigwam' for my peas to grow up. last year, peas were a disaster because i missed the harvest and they all dried up!

big brother starts tonight which is very exciting. once upon a time, the british summer was punctuated by wimbledone, but no more!! now, big brother hogs the airwaves and brings many, ordinarily composed individuals, into the depths of severe addiction. i take hold of my addiction by limiting myself to the opening night (tonight) and then no more until 5 weeks before the end. i have decided this is the best strategy becasue the first few weeks people are still able to perform for the camera, don't need to get too close to anyone and there are too many in the house to really get to know what makes anyone tick. the last 5 weeks however, are a totally different story!

i'm also excited about freecycling which works on the basis that there is too much waste so recycle what you don't want/need and do this by giving it away to someone who does want it. amazingly the 30 pink paving slabs and the various assorted plastic plant pots i put up on the site got snapped up within hours. there are freecycle groups all over the place and it's brill! looks like we may have just got a table tennis table for the youth at church through the site too.

this weekend we are off on a little mini break to royal leamington spa darling! it's where my best friend sam lives and it's flat too! can't wait to see sam as it always feels like it's too long.

by the way, robin is lush!

i like this...

from tallskinnykiwi

i may not be rich but i am laughing all the way to the banquet.


bring on the joy!!!!!

make poverty history

this is the link to the new 'click' advert which will be shown of channel 4 (i think). it is really powerful and deeply saddening.

click video

i am well. we are well. i am sooooo pleased that debbie jones is blogging. she is the most amazing woman and mother and friend. i am so inspired by her on an ongoing basis - quite incredible when i look at how quickly i can move from inspiration to inspiration on a daily basis.

friends of mine have been having hard times. two of my friends have each miscarried their 2nd babies last week. one of these friends and her partner are believers, the other friend and her partner aren't.

robin is wonderful and although he has been grizzly with a sticky eye and snuffles he continues to astound me with his beauty and creativity as he explores the world each new day.

currently i am reading 2 books. i shall blog about them soon!

at last!

our old moogaloo.com email addresses are finally working again.