i hope this doesn't offend anyone, but the following joke is hilarious!! even dan and jason thought it was quite something! thank you to cathers for sending it to me.

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around
the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum
speed on the long corridors. Because she and her fellow residents are all
one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate each other, and some of
the men actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Mad
Mike stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched, "STOP! He said in a
firm voice:
"Have you got a license for that thing?". Ethel fished around in her
handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.

"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William
popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP!", Have you got proof of
insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to
him. William nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Brian
stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable (for
his
age) erection in his hand. "Oh, no!" said Ethel, "Not that darn
breathalyser again!"