here goes...

i am thinking about a few things at the moment. whether i'll blog much about them or not i'm not sure. but one of the things i'm reflecting on a lot is how i feel about the fact that i don't get many comments. you see, i realised that as write a blog and also keep a personal journal, the blog is something i do for others as well as for myself. of course, i like the fact that a blog is always stored on t'internet somewhere so should anyone ever wish to publish my works or write a film about me anything i've blogged will be already archived and nicely ordered and all links will make sense and as it's typed there'll be no hurdles such as my often illegible handwriting - i have taken to writing in my personal journal while people pray for me and i can barely read it myself at the end. however, somehow it makes that praying experience an active one for me when sometimes i've felt quite passive when people have prayed for me - even at toronto (so stone me!).

i think my point is that where i used to feel validated by comments i now feel validated just for being me. i am coming home to myself as naomi aldort suggested to me yesterday. but your comments still mean a great deal to me - they are the relational side of my blogging. if what i was blogging was just for me i'd put it in my personal journal but i put it here for you too - i suppose i hope it might spark discussion, edify you, encourage you, inspire you (did you know that i inspire you? - private joke with the lovely niki foote so noone be offended by my apparent arrogance!). i'm certainly not expecting comments like the blog of the inspirational (and currently bored) andrew jones but then i don't feel my blog deserves that level of following!

maybe a lot of this is linked in with my experience of facebook and why i decided to kill off my profile. even if it is linked it's not the same - facebook really was messing with my experience of being me and who my friends were. i don't miss it at all - but then i am all about relationship, and what's more, relationship that goes deeper than what you're up to on a saturday night and the fact that you wished me a happy birthday because facebook reminded you to! for the first few months i was on facebook i wished people happy birthday as a result of facebook's reminder and then i stopped. i started just wishing happy birthday to the people i would try to wish it to anyway. this, admittedly is not as easy since i lost my address book. but i hope my address book will turn up when we move house.

got to go to diggerland now for jos.

you can't help but feel happy when you soo this...

snow in april. i miss british seasons.

want to blog but feel i have little to say right now. we are just sitting down to watch casino royale with yummy daniel craig. i'm going to carry on doing some knitting too.

lovely jen comes home this month - i am very excited!

following the little blue van.

we have some very lovely friends called brian and whitney who live in the states. they are an inspirational family - brian for single handedly converting the world to homebrew, and whitney for being a beautiful woman of great depths of love and insight. i popped onto their blog today and saw the following youtube video.



i have commented a couple of things on brian and whitney's blog but i have lots of other thoughts about this issue of us a species having the power to determine the future of virtually all other species. that is a profound and serious responsibility - one that God gives us at the very beginning of all things. God says to adam, "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth." (the message)
The Cambridge dictionary defines the phrase'responsible for as "to have control and authority over something or someone and the duty of taking care of it or them"

So we don't only have control and authority over creation (which is the part that humans seem to have no problem exerting, sadly to creation's demise. we also have the duty to take care of creation - of the plants and animals and birds and fish etc etc. definition for 'duty' by the way is "something that you have to do because it is part of your job, or something that you feel is the right thing to do".

so if you stand under the authority of God then looking after creation is part of our job even if we're not in a place of feeling it's the right thing to do. i know a few christians who still think that there are more important things in life than considering your consumer choices, such as food, clothes, oil, and more or the way you live your life with the little things such as only boiling enough water for the amount of coffee you're making, drinking tap water not bottled, using energy saving lightbulbs, recycling.

but then there are many many people who don't knowingly stand under the authority of God and yet are responding to being made in the image of God by taking on their duty to take care of creation because they feel it is the right thing to do. we have an awesome friend called treehouse claire. ok, so really she is called claire, but she lives in a treehouse on a protest site so we call her treehouse claire. well, claire is the only christian on that protest site and yet it would seem to me that her site-mates are stepping up to God's blessing of responsibility for taking care of creation and trying to protect it in radical ways.

i am in the middle. very radical when you put me next to some people but next to others i have a long way to go! although, raising children does seem to me a phenomenal opportunity to model and pass on the values of taking responsibility for creation. my journey though has been one of taking little steps and i think that's the only way it can happen. so many people feel defeated by the sheer enormity of the task at hand when they look at the state we have gotten ourselves into. but when you take one little step of change and it becomes part of your daily life you can then take on another small change. so examples of small steps might be:
1. start buying eco cleaners and washing detergents.
2. buy organic food.
3. buy food from local businesses not supermarkets as much as possible.
4. recycle.
5. turn lights off and switch to eco bulbs.
6. only boil as much water as you need.
7. put a lid on your pan and make sure the flame the pan sits on isn't creeping up round the sides of the pan where it is ineffective.
8. drive less (this is my big challenge)
9. give money regularly by direct debit to organisations working for change.
10. buy the good shopping guide and use it!

ok. lots of stuff there. hope it isn't too full of hot air! i'll try and find some interesting links that will say things with reliability and hopefully be more inspiring.

one last reflection on the blessing God speaks over adam and eve. i think the order of his commands is interesting and spot on for where we are today. we have prospered, but in a way that has led to extreme inequality of wealth distribution, thus poverty is one of the most significant issues facing the majority of the world. we have reproduced. we have filled the earth, not only with people but with large amounts of disgarded waste, toxins and greenhouse gases. we have taken charge but in way that is gradually killing the planet and already killing people around the world due to famine, drought, changing climate and abusing people due to consumer demand for cheaper food, cheaper clothes, more oil, exciting holiday destinations. so the next command God gives is to take responsibility and with that i would challenge myself and the world to take on board God's words in 2 chronicles 7:14 " Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." new living translation).

phew... time for a cup of tea!

we're sooo proud!

just want to show you this fab video.

the drummer is ben - jos' godfather and one of our dearest friends. this band are amazing live and recorded and they look pretty delicious too!

if you like it tell poeple about it - nothing bad will happen to you if you don't tell and nothing good will happen to you if you do - this isn't one of those cahin mail spam things!!

along a similar line to the post below...

yesterday robin and i were in London. we had a great day. met with shannon and did big lick ice-creams and saw big ben. also went to the southbank centre where i bought a book for andy. it is such a great book that i am directing you to it on amazon

a story about a dinosaur, written by robin and mummy

The dinosaur was rustling. There was rustling in the dinosaur's tummy.
It was a beetle and a ladybird and a grasshopper.

I wonder how they got there...

The dinosaur stretched eight bits and ate them up in his mouth.
He said "yuk, these taste yucky!" so he spat them out into his potty.

I wonder what happened next...

The dinosaur did a poo on them.



ps. the only bits mummy added to the story were the 'i wonder' questions. i love robin's imagination - it is always so colourful!!

if you love the poor you can name them.

the title of this post is a quote by shane claiborne from the simple way community in philadelphia. i have heard shane speak several times and he is always challenging, provocative and oozing grace. but i have never heard him say this quote about the poor.

and it really hits home. it is uncomfortable because for me i think i do love the poor and feel i stand strong against injustice but then i think to myself, "who are the poor in my life?" and i start to struggle. i can remember the poor from my past who i used to hang out with and even gave a roof over the head to but not now. and it's easy to think nice thoughts that comfort me in my happy middle class existence such as, 'but i'm loving those i'm in community with', or 'i'm focusing my energy on fighting for justice for local farmers and local businesses', or 'God has me fighting a massive battle of justice right now and i don't have time for anything else'. these things are all true but, as shane points out, when jesus tells the story about the beggar lazarus sitting outside the rich man's gates, only the beggar is given a name and it is lazarus, the poor beggar, who God saves. just like God saves the widows and the orphans and those in slavery or excluded from society.

i don't know where to move on to from this point. just know that i am challenged by it. what does it mean to love the poor if not to be in relationship with them and know their name? to know their lives and troubles and sadness but also their joy and celebration.

reflecting the fullness of the son

once a month we celebrate a full moon pizza party. it is part of our experience and expression of church. a very good friend who is also a follower of Jesus challenged me on it because they were concerned that it was a little too similar to the way NOS expressed church at times. being put in same sentence as NOS is nothing new to me and i value this friendship highly and i am glad it has the strength and trust to allow for such questioning. it was also a really positive question for me becuause i was able to process my reflections on our full moon pizza party in a way i hadn't fully done before. below is my response to my friend's enquiry:

for us it is a way of stepping into one of God's rhythms, that of the moon. in the bible God said to celebrate/recognise the new moon and then in the NT he says not to worry about it but we wanted to get in touch with some of these things but the full moon was easier to get the kids into, in a visual way and pizza is like a full moon because it is round and pale (before toppings!!). it is a time when friends and community come together and bring and share their toppings and some poeple bring dough too. there are so many reflections on it that excite me and lead me towards Jesus and the Father. such as:

-the full moon is the moon's full reflection of the sun which leads me to consider what it looks like for us to fully reflect the son.

-coming together to eat is something Jesus did much of, with believers and those who did not yet believe. he also welcomed the hospitality of those who did not yet believe and i enjoy sharing food that is the amalgamation (right word?) of the hospitality of believers and non believers.

-it is a time of wonderful conversation, laughter, children playing and general catching up which seems to happen less and less in reality now that facebook and other online forums are so popular.

-weekly pizza parties are something our friends andrew and debbie jones have always done for as long as we've known them (6 years). the jones' and the pizza parties always inspired us amd so in creating our own pizza party ritual it feels like we are joining in corporate fellowship with them as our faith community/tribe.

-also, as i think about the full moon i become more aware of the moon in general and finding myself engaging with one of the first rhythms God created connects with my spirit.


i think the next step for me is to get my head into the biblical framework for this bit of our church. when God leads me clearly through lots of confirmation from different sources i don't feel the need to look it up in the bible. but maybe this would be a good discipline to get into, undertaken with a big handful of grace - it's not like i sit around twiddling my thumbs looking for things to do with my day!

the sun is shining, as is the Son.

oh the sun will come out tomorrow i have been singing to josiah and now the sun is out and it is beautiful and my windows are flung open and my spirit is soaring and the Spirit who dewlls within me is up to tricks and i feel a season of healing and freedom upon me. i am reminded a lot in recent conversations of one of my favourite quotes by the dalai lama, "one must know the rules in order to break them properly" or something along those lines. i think i am stepping into a time of embracing my sensible eccentricity as someone recently described me. i think sensible is not quite right but we will see. i am wearing creative clothes again, i am sewing, the other day i was inspired to make a birthday card and a birthday gift - i have not had the creative energy to make cards for soooo long. and the garden has received the touch of my hands in the last week or two and will no longer be neglected as it was last year. and i shared communion with my dear friend juliet this morning - a wonderful feast of pancakes and mashed banana, greek yogurt, chopped hazelnuts and maple syrup. perhaps i am going to start falling in love with myself - about bloody time.

so back to sorting and cleaning and making the way straight.

shine on me so i reflect Your glory,
live in me so people see Your beauty,
and pour on me so out of me flow streams of Living Water.
(gareth robinson)

bring on the full and intense light of the sun and the Son.

skipping

haven't blogged for ages - really not sure if anyone reads this blog at all anymore, but for what it's worth, if you are reading then i thought i'd give you my first thoughts on skipping.

skiping - not the rope game you play at primary school but the art of getting free food from skips - the best ones seem to be M&S and waitrose.

we have claire (aka treehouse claire) staying with us for a bit. claire has lived for long time on a protest site near edinburgh and they don't buy food they skip it. so what you do is got to a skip at the back of a supermarket and take your shopping bags with you and look for rich pickings. there are ground rules such as, don't make a mess, leave the bin as you find it (including tying up bags you open and not tipping unwanted food out into the bin), don't jump fences or break and enter (too naughty even for me) and keep cool if the securtiy or police ask you questions.

aside from the obvious things about the art of skipping which are:
1. free food
2. keeping waste out of landfill becasue you eat it and then recycle packaging
3. exciting nighttime adventures

you're also doing other things like making a really important stand for the hard work of others and the damage to the environment caused by our food industry.

for example, in the last couple of days we've rescued prefectly edible food which has been produced in kenya and israel. both these countries are places of serious unrest at present and yet they worked hard, possible for little money, to make a perfect looking grapefruit (possibly getting ill in the process from chemicals used by farmers) or other product which we have then decided is no longer wuite good enough for our western p[alettes. goodness knows why - they look amazing.

or simply that these foods get produced so far away that the cost to our pockets and to the earth for their transportation becomes insulting when we so quickly discard them as unwanted and our wallets just pay the price elsewhere for this waste. the cost to the environment is then worsened, like adding salt to an open wound, by putting the produce and it's packaging in landfill thus adding to many problems we are already dealing with in our country.

last night we came back with a treacle tart, a steak pie, 2 apple pies, 4 figs, 4 punnets of raspberries, 3 punnets of bluberries, a basket of flowering hyacinths, loads of assorted veg, bread, chocolate puddings, crisps, thai green chicken curry, 4 cucumbers, 4 tubs of aaorted margarine, a bottle of fresh juice, stuffed peppers, posh cheeses and other stuff that i can't remember right now.

when the police did a drive by (at the back of waitrose) they were polite and listened to our clear explanation that we were getting food. they asked if we were really that hungry and claire explained that we weren't hungry at all but thought it was unnecessary so much food had to go to waste and all the police said was 'be careful'. they watched from their car for a couple of minutes then drove off. talk about sharing the good news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reflections on imagination

To say reflections makes it sound like I have gathered my thoughts and mulled them into a coherent and interesting piece of writing but as an extrovert processor the result of my reflections is nothing more than the jumbled mess in my head splurging onto the page!!

So...

I am either a total loony tune with severe mental health problems or my imagination gets taken control of by external forces. The spiritually sensitive among you will get what I'm saying but to the rest of you I suppose I sound ridiculous. However, this assault on my mind that happens every so often made me start thinking about the imagination.

As children develop we really encourage the imagination and then as children grow up, perhaps go to school we start to tell children where to use the imagination and where not to and also we start to give children an idea of what is appropriate for their imagination to be doing, while at the same time introducing them to movies and other cultural influences that put new stuff in their imagination, good and bad.

By the time children are adults we have a pocket, some larger than others, in our heads which seems to hold our imagination. If an adult is confident in expressing and using their imagination it seems that they can respond to live really creatively so problems in life can be an exciting challenge of thinking 'outside the box' or boredom doesn't become much of a problem because they can go somewhere else in their head. For people who suffer from stress and anxiety, the imagination is used as a tool to help them find a place of rest or calm. So it seems that there are times when it's ok, even encouraged, as an adult to engage your imagination.

Then there seem to be the times when the imagination is seen as the root of problems, so adults who feel dissatisfied because they have unrealised dreams and hopes, or the case where someone has great vision for something and noone takes their idea seriously. The support of the community around that person can bring life or death to that vision. As an entrepreneur I know that I have millions of ideas, some of them ridiculous but others getting close to brilliant(!), and it is because the majority of my community are so supportive that I find myself able to pursue these things, even if that pursuit doesn't move from thought into action. Then there's the way the imagination gets labelled as the root of religious faith, perhaps the idea that God speaks to a person gets blamed on their imagination or for those who are more sensitive to the spiritual 'stuff' they appear to have mental health problems because they describe what feels like an external assault on, or interaction with, their mind. Too often we label people with 'an overactive imagination'.

Or I suppose there is the way our dreams can be so fleeting that we barley remember them in the morning, or so real that when we wake we are confused by what has been happening. I wonder where our imagination is in all of that - how much of our dreams are simply our heads processing the stuff of the day, our worries or hopes. If, then, dreams are not necessarily imagination we should be open to people who have a spiritual experience in their dreams, without writing it off as 'just your imagination'.

Coming back to the journey our imaginations take from childhood to adulthood I wonder how we can be counter-cultural in that with our own children and the children around us. In an age where 6 year old girls want a mobile phone and want to be sexy or worry that their body isn't quite right, I feel that something has gone terribly wrong. I remember at 6 I was living in my imagination a lot of the time. I had no awareness about my body then apart from it's physical capabilities and whether I could climb that tree and make a house up there to hide out in and then all the stuff that might happen in my new life living up in that tree where nobody could find me! or the way my imagination let me own and care for ponies and ride them around and groom them for hours and hours.

if we could be counter-cultural and stop the 'curbing' of our imaginations and our children's imaginations where could we be? a neighbour of ours writes film scripts in his spare time and I hear he lets his imagination dream up awesome things with positive environmental impact. But they stay on the page of paper because as a culture we don't have space for dreaming dreams and letting our imagination run wild. Einstein, who incidentally failed at shchool, only realised his theory of relativity because he was lost in his imagination and got swept up on a beam of light. It was through this 'vision' that he went on to change the face of scientific understanding in many areas.

I suppose my thing then is how do we raise children into adults while retaining the full freedom of their imagination? how do we as adults recover our lost imagination and make the pocket of imagination in our heads so full that a much larger container is required, even better, not even try to contain it!! and lastly how do we as respond to people's claims, like my own, that the imagination can be subject to external forces, particularly in a spiritual sense, so that it is not responding to what the head is saying but seems to be responding to something else altogether - or should I be declared mentally ill?

flip me.

there are 2 things that shocked me in the last 24 hours.

1. i found out today that dame anita roddick has died. you can read the story on the bbc. We saw her a couple of years ago at greenbelt and she was so inspirational. the difference she made to the high street in terms of ethical products is phenomenal and i guess she was doing her thing 'for such a time as this'.

2. apparently the world is ending tomorrow. i don't get it but rach hall says it so it must be true. andy even had a theory for it. all sounds fishy to me but we had a lovely pint while discussing it!!

Technorati

so that i can tell andrew jones that his blog is one of my favourites i have to post the following link Technorati Profile

sorry this post isn't more interesting!!

the tall skinny on getting the bible Wright

Andrew Jones has posted a very interesting article to his blog as a response to a provocative blog post by Pyromaniacs against emerging church and other movements that threaten the Fundamentalist claim to supreme power and a uniquely correct view of Scripture. Andrew's post is great and, although i got lost a bit in the middle, it throws out some interesting challenges and responses.

Interestingly, the words that hit me most (sorry Andrew!) were in the comments at the end. The commenter goes by the name of Art and puts something that i sometimes struggle to articulate in a very simple way:

"the Bible is primarily about Jesus and his rescue mission to the world and not "how we can go to heaven when we die"

This is something I have been thinking about for a few months now, ever since we started studying a book at church called "satanist mountain" by Ched Myers. Ooops, sorry, that should read, "SAY TO THIS mountain" by Ched Myers!!! Anyway, it's all part of the journey God has me on at the moment and this all feeds into what we've been working through re. church and everything really!! I will blog more, but for now I recommend you go read the tall skinny...

back from greenbelt

lots buzzing round my head - greenbelt and the week or two leading up to it have been very significant. lots of ground covered on this little journey of mine. i've been inspired, challenged, frustrated, set free, affirmed, validated, questioned and tested and it's all going to splurge out here over the next few days i expect!

thinking about church...

was on a website today for a community in austin called mosaic and i was just floating around being hugely inspired by what God is doing in their midst and i read this,

regarding their small groups - "provide a place where the gospel connects with life and where we connect with each other and the world. While slowly learning how “to do life together” groups will talk through and wrestle with what it means to follow Christ together."

so simple but spot on. my personal experience of small groups over the years is really mixed. the biggest thing that has always glared at me is the inability of the samll group to have any longevity to it. the only time the small community had a definite longevity other stuff shut it down.

then a bit further down i read this - "Note, though, that some groups are full: they can’t grow any more and still be “small groups.” Others may be difficult to join if they’re reading a specific book, and won’t be able to make any progress if they’re recapping every week."

how refreshing is that. no one is excluded but some groups are protected because the important stuff that goes on between individuals as they connect together and get close and raw is not there to be abused or broken up. it's to be invested in. and also that in inviting someone to join a small group they respect you enough to say that some groups are open but may be difficult cos they're in the middle of stuff and the people in the group are respected enough to be given space so that they don't have to keep getting disrupted.

obviously, all this is fine when you have enough groups for new people to slot in to the best space but it's God that builds it and God respects us, values us, loves us, loves the raw and vulnerable stuff that goes on amongst his children when they "talk through and wrestle with what it means to follow Christ together". God will show our communities a way too until we start to put God into th 'community tool' or the 'program' or 'the way we do things round here'.

hey mosaic, amen amen amen!!! a million blessings on everything you are doing and everything God is giving you.

one more thing... God it's good to be blogging again!!

dedication and naming service

here is the file of Jos' naming and dedication. I'm putting it up here for a facebook friend but any of you can read it!naming%20dedication%20-%20jos.doc

sorry our blogging is so crap these days. we are a little won over by facebook and i feel my life is so busy with the kids and the businesses that i don't have time to really think about interesting stuff, let alone blog about it!!

Big Fire st the Simple Way

Shane Claiborne started the simple way ten years ago. he has been an inspiration to me and had a profound affect on my working out of the gospel. Shane and another member of the simple way lost all their possessions, the warehouse is destroyed and 8 families in the neighbourhood have been made homeless.

Please pray and you can donate too. just follow the above link.

reflection

for months my beautiful friend shannon hopkins has had the same prayerful writing on her website. she hasn't posted since but even though i have read those words several times (i go check to see if she has written again, although now she tells me not to bother for a while!) they never sink in to my head or my heart. then today i came upon the following:

Step into the Spirit's movement, the Father's activity. Repent of man's
traditions that keep us seperated, break the walls down and begin to LOVE
others more radically. What does that look like in your life and church? I
don't know but if you ask the Father to show you, HE WILL. Then step out
into what he is doing and watch the Kingdom of God grow!

this is from the healing waiters ministry blog and it resonated within me. it was like the Spirit just wanted to whisper it to me, like when your parent sees you need gently guidance so they just give you a gentle direction. no big deal kind of stuff but it changes your course or clarifies a thought. something significant from something simple.

for me it was like a seal on the vision i had for our former community SOFA. the vision had 3 main strands - 1) love the Lord you God with your heart, soul and mind. 2) Love your neighbour as you love yourself. 3)Others will know that you are my disciples by the way you love one another.

that vision was realised but cut short in many ways and i've still been on that journey somehow. then i read those words and it feels like the journey is complete. amazing how God points you to the little steps to get the big stuff done - there is a whole little line of dominoes leading up to me reading those words today and it is all god's timing becasue some of the dominoes i've tried to tip in the past but not managed it and yet today God made clear it was time to play!

it's a great day when...

... someone just simply 'gets' you.

more news like this please!

the other day at my course we were commenting how there is never any good/happy news reported so today i saw this feature on the bbc website. it made me smile!

hey jen - i'd love to put pictures up but i can't get my phone and laptop to bluetooth anymore. sorry!

been a while!

struggling to blog at the moment - partly cos our little church which is still working out what it's about and where it's going has a blog so i'm focusing on that a bit more. but also i recently got sucked into facebook and this has highly addictive qualities! mind you, i'm finding facebook a bit boring now - only good when people are talking to you!!

it's raining lots here at the moment which is great for the garden but rubbish for a bank holiday weekend! we went to renishaw hall on saturday which was lovely and hung out with a group of friends - a weird group actually as we knew everyone there but from different circles of friends and suddenly they all converged! it was also fab cos 4 of the families there, including us, are considering home ed and it was lovely to be able to chat about it as a group, with dads there too.

finally, those who would like to spend time as women worshiping and praying together, as some of us did last week, we're doing it again on 25th june, 7.45pm at our house.

interesting piece...

on the bbc site

god loves his children....

copy that, god loves his children. 10-4
rodeohead
courtesy of ben fuller.

dvd mania!

play.com had a sale on, maybe still on, where most items were only a fiver. andy and i decided to buy a couple of dvds and managed to walk away with 7! however, in our defence, we only bought ones that were on our list of dvds we wanted to own or the other one or two which i was hoping for when i found them at a good price. it's very exciting and means lots of great nights in which will be a refreshing change from all the nights out i seem to be having at the moment!

Had to post this - I hope God finds it as funny as I do!

Praise God, we're back again!

Blink and you might have missed it, but we've had big problems with our blog. It's all quite technical I think and probably quite boring but it's good to be back. I was lookjing at the map which shows who comes here, and considering how many red dots there are, not many of you leave comments!

Things are good - although busy. Story of our lives! Well, story of mine and Andy's has only been busy since I've been in it. Poor him, I think he'd much rather have a quiet life but I seem to come with everything else but quiet!

The kitchen is starting to really take shape. We are hoping to paint this weekend and the beautiful Smeg fridge freezer is here. There will be photos at some point.

2 things of great beauty...

yesterday we fished a beautiful but dead toad out of our pond. it had the most beautiful eyes and lovely speckled skin. we looked at it a lot and determined that it was possibly killed by a giant crow (looks like a raven but do you get ravens in sheffield gardens?) as it was a large puncture wound that went straight through, rather than several smaller ones that might suggest a cat's jaws.

the second thing of beauty is my chandelier, happily installed in our fab kitchen. dishwasher arrives tuesday!

i have taken photos of both on my phone but i can't get bluetooth to work at present so you'll just have to imagine...

i love my washing line

last year colin erected the most fantastic washing line the whole length of our garden. it attaches to the house and to the shed - metres and metres! and also it's on apulley system so i only have to stand in one spot. it si so tremendouse that i think i will take a photo to put up on the blog.

new found respect for alanis...

how something so hideous:


be turned into something so awesome:


!?!

hello, my name is bea, and i'm a chaotic...

yes. i really am very chaotic. i have a to do list that's very long, and all inside my head. the irritating thing is that as soon as i try to put it on paper it all vanishes somewhere else until i'm in a place where i cannot implement any of them, and suddenly they all leap back.

interestingly, i am quite funny when i am in this chaotic place so now is a good time to hang out with me.

lots of great stuff is happening to me at the moment. more later. currently at mum and dad's (although dad is skiing at the mo) and my beautiful sister is cooking me a lovely tea.

alela diane

something for anyone who like joanna newsome, laura viers, devandra banheart or the be good tanyas - not sure how well known she is - i just happened upon it as it was playing in fopp yesterday and was one of 3 people in the queue buying it.

loving my larder!

oh yes, oh yes, OH YES!!!!

i have put food in my larder - it is lush! the whole kitchen is lush! my sister, charlie, and her boyfriend, jay, have been up this weekend and they've helped me paint the diluted first coat on the walls and also a couple of coats on the ceiling. we also went to weston park museum and stopped for a picnic on the way. it was lovely although robin got sooo tired from the whole experience that he screamed nearly the whole way home whilst straining at the straps of his pushchair - to the extent that when he finally fell asleep he was still in his 'forward-straining- position!!

we ate our first proper meal in the kitchen today - at the table!! it was a take-away from Gulijstan on walkley. never used it before as we were always hardcore loyalists to the jaflong in crookes until they changed their chef. we still stayed with them for a further year in the hope they'd return to their former chef. then we flitted around a coupld of recommended take-aways but didn't like any of them. at last we settled on the jeera, a new and very tacky looking one also in crookes. we were pleased and a lot surprised to discover it was fantastic but alas no more. it is shit and it has fallen under new management and i fear it has also got a new chef. well, we are not hanging around. we tried the gulijstan and it was pretty good - in fact, we really liked it. only snag is that they used tin spinach instead of frozen or fresh BUT the jalfrezi andy had was lush and the peshwari naan was lush too. we will go there again and see how they fare over time.

Easter tomorrow - He is risen!!! Amen!

this is my kind of worship...

i was thinking about my kind of worship. this week i've been re-exploring celtic prayer and worship and having some lovely times with God as a result. then i was on you-tube because there's a scary american family who have been documented by louis theroux. they take the bible in a very weird way and aren't opene to anyone else to challenge them in any way. fundamental to the extreme! their worship was very traditional, out of old hymn books with the music on the page as well as the words (no problems with this by the way, just not my style!) and it got me tinking about worship. the video below is one of the most amazing worship experiences i've had in a long time. it makes me tingle and really engage with a good God who brings energy and colour and creativity and craziness and gets into all the nooks and crannies of our lives. i hope you like it.

beautiful birds

yesterday while sitting eating brekfast with the boys i was watching the birds in the garden and they were beautiful. they seemed so happy and they looked like they were eating aphids - fantastic!!

there were:

3 great tits
2 blue tits
1 robin
1 wren
2 or 3 blackbirds
3 brown things - starlings?

last week or the week before we also saw a mistle(sp?) thrush as well.

new harry potter covers:

starting to get excited...

a quick request...

if there's anyone coming up (or is it down?) from London in the next week who could pick up a dishwasher for us we'd be REALLY grateful - please let us know if you can...

the IT (and we're not talking about computers!)

amy has been blogging her reflections on the IT. her post explains it in a lovely mystical way, as you would expect from a beautiful mystical spirit(!), but as i dwell on it, it is starting to penetrate the dry areas in my bones. it is starting to take me to a new level of hope that is fresh and vibrant and all this on top of glories of God that i have been experiencing through the kitchen situation. and i can almost feel it opening the eys of my heart deeper. bring on the IT!

the kitchen - everything you ever wanted to know, almost!

i'm uploading a file - never done this before but if it works it will fill you in on what's happening our end.
saga%20details.doc

happy (official) birthday jos!

1 today, and still smiling!

sadly no birthday photo on hand, so some of us in orkney instead:

thanks Dr V!

just listened to a bbc lent talk. worth a few minutes of your time. i'm hoping to follow them over the next few weeks...

here's the link!

reflections on lent...

this year we have given up alcohol. we did this because we both felt that God was making the suggestion. We also felt God was suggesting we have an intentional response to the process and realised through a comment on andrew jones' blog that this response was one of charity and social justice.

andrew is writing as a response to an article on lancaster online about the emerging church and lent. one of the guys commenting, a friend of ours called brad (who incidentally gave us some way cool coffee pots a while back that we could with getting wired up for british electrics) said some stuff i liked, and wanted to quote:

"i think this is far more complex than whether this is a 'protest' or 'reform' or 'regain' or 'restore.' i suspect that ALL OF US tend to confuse our abstract doctrinal concepts with concrete biblical facts, and confuse our so-called 'biblical' methodologies practices with actual biblical prescriptives.

one of the tasks of each disciple and each generation of disciples is to act as Bereans to investigate the Scriptures to see what FACTS are so and to keep working on improved CONCEPTUALIZATIONS of how the facts fit together. i would hope we could learn from both past and present approaches, ALL OF WHICH ARE IMPERFECT.

we should ALWAYS be 'protesting' or 'antithesizing' even our own theological patterns, if we are being as Bereans. it doesn't mean we're pro-papists or re-reformers or anti-authoritarianists or non-inerrantists, etc. we may not use the same language of theological concepts that others use, but isn't it part of our responsibility to the continuity of our faith to keep pressing toward a comprehensive, holistic, integrative worldview AND part of our presponsibility to the discontinuity of our times to embody that faith in authentic ways before all peoples?"

the bigger picture of reflecting on why i do what i do in my faith journey is a picture i don't spend much time looking at. thinking in terms of lent etc... i know why i pray, worship, go to church. i know what my current beliefs are, but i continue to 'write my theology in pencil' as i know from experience and the wisdom of others that God's process of revelation is often a long, slow one. my instinct is to hear the firsr thing he shows me and set that up as 'my belief' rather than stepping into the process of revelation.

reflections on wool

when we left orkney debbie jones gave me a bag of raw wool. it smells of sheep and farms and has a greasy feel to it. if you teke some it pulls apart really easily. however, if you start to pull it apart slightly and twist it at the same time it forms a yarn (basic spinning). you can pull this yarn really hard and it won't break. it has incredible strength. you can then dye this yarn, wash it, knit it, crochet it, whatever. the possibilities of what can be created from the first bit of wool are infinite.

i was reflecting on this further in terms of us - psalm 139 says that God knits us together in our mother's womb. so i was thinking into that about how He takes sometghing (a sperm and an egg) which on their own are pretty week and insignificant but He makes infinite creations from it - we reflect His image and yet not one of us is like another through the entirity of time. That is a big reflection of His image!

Also though in our journey of faith and growth and life He is taking us as weak, broken, grubby things and purifying us, cleansing us, transforming us through renewal (we will be transformed daily by the renewing of our minds) and bringing us more and more into a finished garment which is who we will be in glory. but His grace is sufficient for any times we caused Him to miss a stitch or drop a stitch or caused Him to pull to tight or slacken off. all because he chooses to give us freedom to be and do what we choose. I suspect the times we choose His way and his plan, the fabric of the knitting is pretty perfect! as shannon has been known to say, "He is drawing us into His rich tapestry".

just some thoughts...

Inspiration for prayer

i was reading andrew jones'blog today and saw this wonderful post about the prayer of Jael. It really made me realise that so often i read scripture without seeing the story in a modern-setting. in the sense that i don't imagine things like what the person was thinking or saying etc. i find it hard to read between the lines of what was going on.

at church we're studying mark's gospel and we're using a book called "say to this mountain" by ched myers. on sunday i heard a part of the story in chapter 2 one way and then as we started discussing it and other people brought out the'r understanding of it a light came on for me. it is so exciting exploring the bible with our new church - challenging, inspirational, worshipful, illuminating, frustrating at times but worth every minute.

so andrew's post about the prayer of Jael feels like a breath of fresh air - permission to be real with God in the way that the psalms push us to be honest with God. and then, by speaking the truth in love and not living lives of falsehood, being honest with each other. this is probably the harder of the two for me because being honest with others about certain bits of me meanms i am choosing to put myself ina very vulnerable place. but God is knitting together family in our new church - that feels like how He is showing it to me. we are a brand new church - only had 2 meetings and i feel like God is saying, "you may be church, but most of all i am making you a family". i need to reflect more on what that means to be family - there is a lot of the good, the bad and the ugly in family and i wonder what that might mean in terms of church as family.

autism...

something i found on the net yesterday - full article on conceptart.org

it doesn't fit but it's mine!

debbie and i finished my sample - it doesn't fit so today we are going to make another with some modifications. however, it may not fit, but it's mine - i designed it, and i made it (with a little help) and it's my first ever item of clothing so it's ok that it isn't perfect the first time - it wasn't meant to be. i always planned on re-designing anyway as part of the learning curve and getting the product right so what i'm trying to get my head around is that although it's not wearable, it's mine and it's an achievement so...

well done me. give myself a pat on the back!

oh, and i'm about to start cutting fabric for the second version which we'll make today!

like a kid in a sweet store

today debbie took me to a shop called tait and style which is just up the hill from where they live in stromness. it is amazing and i couldn't help myself but buy lots of goodies - loads of cheap samples and yarn and ooh lovely things. being around debbie makes me feel so creative! she is such an inspiration.

also this morning we started making a mock-up of one of my designs. debbie is teaching me how to mark out, pin and cut a pattern on fabric and then we'll move onto sewing. i'll keep you updated.

it is peeing it down today - crazy rain but quite exciting too!

the rest of day 2

we got in the car late morning and headedd off to explore the island. debbie recommended a few places to go and see and there's not many roads so it's not too difficult to get around without getting lost!

the first place we went to was Scara Brae. This is what the official orkney tourism website says, "It is an incredibly well preserved stone village containing an intricate maze of dwellings, with stone beds, lintels and cupboards are all intact, and dates back some 5,000 years. The site was revealed in 1850 by a violent storm and is now one of the most famous Neolithic sites in Northern Europe."

this photo is taken on scara brae beach:



then the boys were too cold and getting hungry. i was cold and hungry too but i become so alive when i am by the sea - it's like my blood starts rushing round my body ten times faster and i feel amazing. i want to run around and jump about and just fall down in the sand and grin. i did a bit of this but jos' face was streaming and he had snot everywhere. robin wanted to get back to the car and was hiding from the wind behind my leg and andy could barely bring himself to take his hands out of his pockets to give me the camera!

we went back to the car, realised our packed lunch was still at the house so we went back and got it then had a picnic in the car! we ate while we drove to a lookout point over a loch and then on to a viking settlement called The Broch of Guerness. Robin really enjoyed running round with Andy and playing hide and seek. Jos and I found a spot to be sheltered from the wind and jos enjoyed just exploring the properties of grass!!




we drove back to stromness through a few villages and stopped in a little local shop. we also tried to go to a couple of the craft trail places but each was closed. we went to a potters and a wool shed and i was particularly excited about the wool shed (of course!) but not to worry, debbie is hoping to show me a bit of spinning while i'm here. she's been telling me all about how wool is like to work with when it is raw and i'm really looking forward to getting into spinning yarn.

as an aside, ezra who is project manahging our kitchen, called today to say that our neighbour has flipped about the work we are having done. there were a couple of issues with him before we left on holiday but i worked really hard to resolve everything before leaving. anyway, he has now gone and told the council we are doing work without permission so we now have to put in an application for the work we are doing rather than getting a building inspector just to check it after which is how the builder normally works. all this means we are delayed by about a week on the kitchen work. not so much of a problem on one level beacsue we have amazing friends who will let us eat with them but it means the house is chaotic - something i find hard at the best of times. ultimately means i don't want to be in my own home - the lounge is currently stashed to the brim with kitchen stuff. boy am i having a clearout when i put everything back into the kitchen. and praise God, chloe has said she is inviting herself round for a cup of coffee (black, no sugar, and probably cold by the time it reaches her lips!) to help me get stuff sorted.

anyone want to come for a cleaning party once the kitchen is in a better state - the rest of the house is covered in a thin layer of plaster dudt, even though we cleaned all the floors and surfafces on thursday night right before leaving!!

day 2

sitting at the breakfast table. the sun is shining today and we are going off to explore the island (or at least parts of it) today. hannah (9) is feeling poorly with a sore throat so she is staying off school - perhaps to hang out with robin but she's been told that he's going out and so isn't around for playing!!



abigail (11) was wearing a fantastic top yesterday and it turns out she made it - she and her friend eva plan to set up their own design label called 'cherry'. she also brought down a skirt made with kilt off-cuts and a diagonal zip. i think i might need to enlist her creative skills for my clothes!



tamara, known as TJ, who is 4 (5 in march) is sitting next to me at the table. she loves how fast i type but i told her that her daddy must type faster than me - he blogs so much more and is a prolific reader and writer so i'm pretty certain he has a slight advantage on speed. robin tried to do sleep over with tamara and hannah last night but he said it was too different so came back into our room.

day 1

so we had a good night's slepp although as usual the boys woke early - jos actually. robin seems to like sleeping here. this afternoon he slept for about 2 hours on me. unheard of! went to andrew and debbie'd church this morning. it was a lovely, simple get together. they do soup and bread afterwards and everyone was really freindly. met and chatted to a wonderfully eccentric guy called chris - he came back to andrew and debbie's after and is great fun!

this afternoon we just crashed out at the house - need to take photos to show you. andrew cooked a lovely roast beef dinner and he also did crepes fr breakfast. when you come to the jones' you know you are going to eat well! i love how they weave food into family life in a really special way. it means that wherever they're travelling (soemthing they do a lot) they have the same rhythm to family life. so friday is always pizza night, tuesday is sausages, sunday morning is crepes and so on.

tomorrow we are going to head off around the island and explore. robin really enjoyed the beach at thurso (where we spent the morning waiting for the ferry check-in). i think we'll try and find some of the orkney beaches which are meant to be beautiful and then a stone village which is very old and preserved. i'll tell you more about it in my update tomorrow.

gutted to miss our first time together ass a new church. chloe texted me to let me know that they were knitting as part of church - how cool. can't wait to find out more. i've been doing my knitting up here - finishing off andy's jumper. on the second sleeve now and then i only have to sew it all together. hooray!

we've arrived!

very tired but feel we have achieved something great! orkney so far is lush - andrew cooked great burgers for tea and they have done their place up beutifully. true jones style!! we'll try and stay in touch over the week - see you soon!

flower fairies

i have always loved the flower fairies. do they have them overseas? when i look at them i think they must be english but perhaps not. here is the flower fairy for the letter 'R' which is my initial (for Rebecca). chloe reminded me of them while i was browsing her blog. quite a funny post about how she accidentally let slip some nonsense to her 2yr old about fairies coming out to dance at night and now she realises she needs to tell ruby the truth! it really is a funny post but also so beautifully written that you can see why Chloe is persuing writing children's books.

anyway, i found the image below of flower fairy 'R'. interesting that it is 'R' for ragged robin and obviously robin is called robin. maybe i should get him one for his wall. i hope you like it.

today was a great day!

robin, jos and i spent the majority of today in Chesterfield, an historic market town 10 miles from Sheffield. we went becasue i really wanted to get hold of some fabric to take to orkney (i'm hoping debbie and whitney might be able to help me get some samples made). i haven't been able to get what i needed in sheffield and Chesterfield has a great market and there were two fabric stalls and each one supplied me with a different fabric so i have two and i really like them both. they are similar in weight and composition to the final fabric but as i will be using organic or sustainable fabrics for me clothes when i get them made 'proper' i won't be able to get the same great patterns that these have!

robin went on a carousel for the first time ever - the typw with cars and things, rather than horses. he looked petrified all the way round to the point that i nearly wet myself with laughter, but he said he enjoyed himself afterwards!

i'm a little stressed at the mo but feeling ok too - i have to pack up my kitchen as i have a bloke coming to collect some cupboards on weds morning and someone else coming to collect the laminate floor on wednesday evening. then on thurs dan and i are ripping out whatever is left. then on friday we are going to orkney. we are driving through the night becasue we think that's the best bet with the boys and it also means that, although knackered, we get a good amount of time with our friends up there.

the other thing i did today was have a nap in the car, lying uncomfortable across the front seats as the boys had fallen asleep in the back. i figure i need to sleep every opportunity possible if i am losing a night on friday!

windows data execution prevention aka DEP aka pain in the ass...

having been rediculously frustrated by windows service pack 2 blocking me from using windows explorer, because it would seem using windows to browse around folders (including changing settings, or running hard drive performance checks for eg) is a dangerous thing to do and therefore brings up an error message closing the window.
so you go throught the help files and it tells you you can allow access to certain files by... going into the settings window - the same window that DEP blocks.
trawling the internet has finally bought about the following:
Where Can I Find DEP On My PC?
so if anyone else has the same problems....

(posted by andy, not bea)

HELLO THE MALLONS!!

thought seeing as our friends Keith and Dawn Mallon, who are off on a ship as missionaries, might be looking at our blog soon, i would give them a special welcome.

as for the rest of you. life is fine. we are fine. sorry our blog is quite dull atb the moment. we are busy planning jos' dedication and naming ceremony in march. also we are heading up to orkney to stay with our wonderful friends the jones' and also we'll be seeing our other friends brian and whitney who live there too. both sets of friends are international - debbie jones is american and her husband andrew is kiwi. brian and whitney are both texan (a nationality in itself!).

the other thing we're getting ready for is our new kitchen! ooh - it's so exciting! on thursday my friend dan and i are ripping out the kitchen so that the builder, plumber and electrician can all come in while we are away. then ezra, our kitchen fitter friend, will fit the kitchen when we return. this means chaos for a couple of weeks and i need to organise for friends to have us round for tea a lot!

so that's us at the moment. how are you?

dynamite surfing....

this is amazing!

a big bee in bea's bonnet!

there's another blog i post on - it's called thethingaboutit and i put up the post about the petition. someone commented about it being a good move in light of a peaceful response to the oil situation. i commented back that it didn't seem so much about oil as about congestion itself. i re-read the comment and realised that it sounded like i wasn't acknowledging the car-tax as a response to climate change. so... i posted the following comment. it's pretty long and i thought to myself, "flip, i should just post that on my blog".

so here is my comment, for you as a post, because i value that you came to my blog to read what was going on in my little head!

"i've just re-read my comment and realised it sounds like i don't see the value of reducing cars in terms of climate change. i think responding to climate change is a very real and immediate need.

the impact of households making many small changes consistently would have afar greater effect on the carbon emissions of the country.

simple things like only boiling enough water in the kettle for the drinks you are making. using energy saving lightbulbs. unplugging phone chargers. not leaving computers , tv's, hifi's on standby, turning thermostat down by 1 degree (or even more and wearing a jumper). composting, recycling, shopping at charity shops, buying organic, using public transport or your feet which are free, not flying unnecessarily - how many poeple jetting off have explored every nook of this beautiful island we live on.

i don't do all the above, but bless my pharisee points score, i do a lot of them. and often i feel like i'm not making much difference and is there really any point, but if a domino effect takes place and the single drop turns into a puddle, which turns into a... ocean, then we would see big change.

we have enough oil to last 40 years more at our current rate of consumption and cars are not necessarily the greatest evil - but they are a very obvious one. if the plan passes through parilament then i suspect that there will be a certain laziness and complacency will kick in.

How about, the government used themoney set aside for this potential development and instead invested it in educating poeple and bringing about a nation of households who have made the little changes - surely those households would then make the bigger changes too, such as reducing car usage."

a proper petition for once!

If you drive a car, please read -
>>
>>Sarah Kennedy was talking about this proposed car tax scheme on Radio 2.
>>Apparently there is only one month left to register your objection to the
>>'Pay As You Go' road tax.
>>
>>The petition is on the 10 Downing St website but they didn't tell anybody
>>about it. Therefore at the time of Sarah's comments only 250,000 people
>>had signed it and 750,000 signatures are required for the government to
>>at least take any notice.
>>
>>Once you've given your details (you don't have to give your full address,
>>just house number and postcode will do), they will send you an email with
>>a link in it. Once you click on that link, you'll have signed the
>>petition.
>>
>>The government's proposal to introduce road pricing will mean you having
>>to purchase a tracking device for your car and paying a monthly bill to
>>use it. The tracking device will cost about £200 and in a recent study by
>>the BBC, the lowest monthly bill was £28 for a rural florist and £194 for
>>a delivery driver. A non working mother who used the car to take the kids
>>to school paid £86 in one month.
>>
>>On top of this massive increase in tax, you will be tracked. Somebody will

>>know where you are at all times. They will also know how fast you have
>>been going, so even if you accidentally creep over a speed limit in time
>>you can probably expect a Notice of Intended Prosecution with your monthly

>>bill.
>>
>>If you are concerned about this Orwellian plan and want to stop the
>>constant bashing of the car driver, please sign the petition on No 10's
>>new website (link below) and pass this on to as many people as possible.
>>Sign up if you value your freedom and democratic rights -
>>
>> http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/traveltax

my Jesus. my saviour.

kids say the coolest things!

this morning i was telling robin that we are going on hliday at the end of february. i asked him if he remembered our holiday last year - this was the conversation:

bea: robin, we're going on holiday soon.

robin: oh, yes...

bea: do you remember where we went on holiday in the summer?

robin: oh, yes...

bea: where did we go?

robin: to see a star on the spaceship.

how cool is that!! i would love to live in his world sometimes and know how he thinks and what he thinks about. if i could transfer into his world i would first reset his body clock as the 5am wake ups are really starting to wear us down. they've been happening for nearly 3 weeks now i think.

generally good here - pond was frozen over this morning which i think is the first time this winter and the council have been gritting the roads. living in sheffield with all it's hills means the council come out to grip if there is even a slight hint that the temperature might hit freezing, but exciting none the less.

last night we saw 'casino royale' at the cinema. oh, it was sooo good. i know it's been out ages but it felt rally special going to the cinema ona saturday night and as i couldn't eat half the snacks available i managed to wolf down a regular pack of salt and vinegar pringles before the film even started!!

terminator 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuwJKZoxbDc&NR

tee hee hee!

eating bogies is nothing...

today i had to do something that was the most disgusting thing i have ever had to do. i cannot share the details on this blog because i do not think you are prepared for what happened. but trust me that it was beyond the imaginable!

moving on - i had agood business day. started really badly but then got better and was productive and i feel so much better about tyhe next step for my business. hooray! could still do with some lessons in admin organisation!

...

i am feeling so discouraged about my business that when i sit down to do stuff for it or make calls i feel like i am going to burst into tears - only today i rang a manufacturer for the third time to try and speak to this guy and that felt hard enough. then when his colleague said he had tried to phone me a few times i nearly burst into tears right there on the phone. i managed to hold it together and explain that i'm a busy mum of two small children and that if i don't answer he could leave a message but the whole experience really dragged me down.

i get so frutrated that i'm not naturally organised, i find planning really hard work and even when i have a plan i find it really hard to implement and i just feel like a tiny little plankton in a massive ocean when it comes to setting up this flipping business. everything seems to be moving so slowly and i am getting more and more demotivated and dragged down by it. i mean, how hard can it be to get a manufacturer to give me a quote for making a sample garment from my pattern and then being able to get some mums to test drive it? aaaarrrggh!!!!!

at least i am keeping going. not giving up. it's good to believe in something like i believe in my business idea. i just wish i had the skills i need to be the entrpreneur i need to be and not feel waves of tears welling up at the smallest thing.

there are two proverbs i am trying to hold onto - one about trusting in the Lord and not in my own understanding and also another about commiting your ways to the Lord and he makes your paths straight. i don't know the exact verses but i think i got the gist right.

this is sooooo gross!

last night i made a lush tea and while andy was whizzing up some pineapple and yogurt for pudding i cleared the boy's left-overs onto one plate. i then thought it was the perfect opportunity to pick my nose - both boys waiting for pudding with happy stomachs! so i picked out 3 bogies and put them on the plate of waste food.

so andy sits back down at the table and serves pudding and i'm feeding jos until i look up and andy is finishing off the food from the boy's plate, including the bogies disguised amongst the cous cous! i started laughing and decided it was only kind before he finished all the food to tell him about my nose picking excavations - the worse bit is that he looked at the last mouthful and weighed it up in his head and decided that it was worth eating the last moputhful cos tea was so nice and he'd probably already eaten the bogies anyway!!

this brings a whole new meaning to us 'becoming one flesh'!!!!

eurovision 2007

morrissey is going to sing it baby. check out this sneak preview

there's bad news, good news and then really good news!

today i got the invoice through for the car from the garage. it went in because the radiator was badly leaking and the engine kept overheating in a serious way. so i looked at the invoice and first thought was "flip, £416!". then i glanced over the work that had been done (i had also requested a service) and saw that all our front and back break pads and diskx were totally worn or corroded and had to be replaced. then i thought, "few, so glad thye radiator went, otherwise i'd still be driving an unsafe car".

so i rang andy and said, there's bad news, and there's good news and relayed the above.

then i got a call from hallam uni (i forgot to tell them i didn't plan to return to work so i've been liaiasing with a lovely guy called ben to sort it out) and ben told me that hallam were happy to honour the 9 days leave carried over (you're only meant to carry over 3) and that further leave entitlement left me with 26 days total. then he said the uni would prefer it if i handed in my resignation now and they'll pay me in lieu. my thought was "wow! God's timing and provision is amazing!" the money from hallam will more than cover the money for the garage and once again we've seen God's faithfulness to us with our finances.

and for any texans reading, i didn't even have to ask Him to sell some cattle, he must have done it anyway!!

you are very welcome!

i noticed some new dots on the map - i just wanted to say that whoever you are, you are very welcome on our blog - it would be great if you'd introduce yourselves on our comments. having said that, maybe none of you will come back after you su've seent he bland nature of our posts!!!

just a normal family doing normal stuff, thinking normal things... actually i'm not sure normal is a word many poeple would use to describe us, particularly me!!

not forgetting....

little jossy boo is now sleeping in his very own (well borrowed from helen) travel cot in our room, all by himself.
not to say he's been a naughty boy or anything, but the 3-5am playing and crying sessions were getting a bit much, and, well, we needed to try something - jos certainly is NOT the co-sleeper that Robin was - he must just need a bit more space.
anyway, its all gone very well, and the fears of hours of crying turned out only to be 10 mins on the first night, 2.5 the next, so well done jos, the boy done good!!

i have a new 'c' key!

hello everyone. i am so excited because i finally have a new 'c' kry! the last one came to a sudden end after robin dropped a bok on it, although we have been gently coersing it into working for us. dell did send us a new keyboard but it seemed a faff to change over and then we only remembered when robin was in his bed and the tool box i stored in his room!

tonight i am hosting a 'mystery host' Pampered Chef show where i will be giving away all the free stuff and all the half-price stuff that the host usually gets for herself. i'm making some little salmon thins and also some little choclate mini muffins too. should be fun!

life is plodding into 2007 fairly smoothly so far!

sorry such a boring post but i felt i needed to post something!

he he he....

"Hans Wagner shows off his gigantic rabbit, Herman, at his home in Berlin in february. Herman is almost 3ft tall and eats a bale of hay a week." Sunday Times Magazine

happy new year!!

in engalnd we ahve 6 minutes to go until we enter te splenidid year of 2007. we are listeninINXS and i am a littlw tiddly. we are watichign a lock that is acccurateb to 1 secnd with every 290 years. i am pissed which is unsusual and causing many speling mistakes.

earlkier tis year jen sentmea text to wish me a happy 2007 from the beginning od next year. we have al dicisded tat it feels better to be moving into 2008 but alas wea are oving into 2008. i feel i9 sould apoliogise to andrew jone for y drunkeness. i don't know why. carla sufggests we should move towards morw fun in 2008 but i don't thinki have more fun whe i'm drunk - instead i just spell more badly!!
rach aims for more pointy bits and andy is [utrting 'a blast from the past' on the stearoe. rbital?!! orbital when i conscentrate. carla is taking a thigh as a pillow and rach is trying not to fart.

barnaby has just had the same text from 2 very un-related people. it reads like this - always remenber - lofe is short - forgive quickly, quiss quickly, love truly, love truly and benevre forget new year's eve (please note my keypad is having trouble with the c key.)

rah says we are all saddos with our mobiles.

maybe this is the most realistic expression of a new year's blog ever.

andy ad carla are reflecctung on the orbital live track.

HAPPYNEW YEAR..

Tolstoy said...

"I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish him to ease his lot by all possible means - except by getting off his back."

reflect on this at your peril. it is humbling.

also, just wanted to mention how exciting it is to see poeple reading our blog from places that we would never have expected. i wonder if i know you or maybe you just happened upon us and won't come back again, or alternatively, happened upon us and come back regularly!

here is a picture of the blue Christmas tree outside Sheffield train station. it is the most Christmassy photo i took i think!

some pictures

me and jos

robin's snowman for andy to have in the office!

robin dressed up as a mexican (all his own doing!)

andy and me

it had to be done.

jos' first haircut. a sad event because he has wonderful hair but it was actually interlinking with his eyelashes. i only layered the top so we are now heading for mullet territory but andrew jones wears a mullet and he's one of the coolest chaps around.

hilarious!

i always thought clothes were put on manequins to make them look desirable - as if they would look really great on you. check out this dress at topshop to see how sometimes it can go really wrong!!

2 things... and a ps.

1. the following quote from the Design Council Report 1998 @more for less' has challenged me and my thoughts and actions:

"80-90% of the total lifecycle costs of any product (environmental and economic) are determined by the product design before production even begins. "

2. i am a human being and i have needs - one of these needs is words of affirmation, particularly in the form of blog comments. when you comment i get a zingy sparkle all through me. it makes me feel loved and special and thought of. when you don't comment i just think that no one reads my stuff anymore.

ps. at present i do not recommend the ammazing change website for anything other than information. it's got great info about slavery and your response to it, but the community side of it is not happening - i can't even post on the forum for goodness sake.

treesforlife

"*** SHIPMENT CONFIRMATION - PLEASE PRINT AND RETAIN FOR YOUR RECORDS ***

Hello andy marshall,

Thank you for placing an order with Books For Trees! For each book ordered we donate 5p to Trees for Life. This enables Trees for Life to replant the Caledonian forest in Scotland with native trees. For more information, please check out www.treesforlife.org.uk or email us.

Your Amazon UK order, number 736-7603764-1686545, has been processed and shipped via standard mail on 12/6/2006."

a slavery update

if you go to this link then you can find out all about William Wilberforce who was a key player in the abolition of slavery 200 years ago. Quite an amazing person, I think you'll agree!

sleepless nights...

spent the past two nights finding it hard to get to sleep having had loads and loads of ideas going thru my head about a new miniature based wargame that i've come up with.
the usual advice is write everything down, get it out of you, but i seem to find i just get more and more ideas as i write.
add in a jos who likes to wake up for an hours adventuring at 3am and its not going well!

knackeroodled like a poodle

so tired that i am going to bed - at 9.10 pm or thereabouts. jos teething and also snuffly and coughing so not getting much sleep. earlier i posted a link to a picture but it didn't work. instead, check out the whole site called postsecret and enjoy in a weird kind of way! thank you to jen for reminding me of that site - i'm not sure why i filed it away for so long!

The Amazing Change

I've just signed up to a website called The Amazing Change. It is part and parcel of all that is to do with the bicentennial of the abolition of slavery and the new film coming out next year called Amazing Grace. You can go to the website here. I'm going to be blogging about slavery as i remember - it's something that is hard to ignore when you start finding out the facts.

The following is some info taken from the website:

What Is Slavery?

Common characteristics distinguish slavery from other human rights violations. A slave is:

Forced to work -- through mental or physical threat; owned or controlled by an 'employer', usually through mental or physical abuse or threatened abuse; dehumanised, treated as a commodity or bought and sold as 'property'; physically constrained or has restrictions placed on his/her freedom of movement.

--Source: AntiSlavery.org

What Types of Slavery Exist Today?

Slavery exists. Whether we call it trafficking, bonded labor, forced labor, or sex slavery, it exists: globally, nationally, and locally.

Bonded labour affects at least 20 million* people around the world. People become bonded labourers by taking or being tricked into taking a loan for as little as the cost of medicine for a sick child. To repay the debt, many are forced to work long hours, seven days a week, up to 365 days a year. They receive basic food and shelter as 'payment' for their work, but may never pay off the loan, which can be passed down for generations.

Early and forced marriage affects women and girls who are married without choice and are forced into lives of servitude often accompanied by physical violence.

Forced labour affects people who are illegally recruited by individuals, governments or political parties and forced to work -- usually under threat of violence or other penalties.

Slavery by descent is where people are either born into a slave class or are from a 'group' that society views as suited to being used as slave labour.

Trafficking involves the transport and/or trade of people -- women, children and men -- from one area to another for the purpose of forcing them into slavery conditions. Human Trafficking is now ranked as the second largest criminal industry globally?second only to drug smuggling, and tying with illegal weapons transactions. The U.S. Department of State estimates that between 15 and 20 THOUSAND individuals are trafficked into the United States to become slaves EACH YEAR! This does not include those U.S. citizens trafficked from city to city within our borders.

--Source: AntiSlavery.org and the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center.

this is brill - mum sent it me!

Life Cycle


I think the life cycle is all backwards.


You should start out dead and get it out of the way.


Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.


You get kicked out for being too healthy;

Go collect your pension, and then when you start work,

you get a gold watch on your first day.


You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.


You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous

and you get ready for High School.


You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play,

you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...


You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury,

in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap,

larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

a few more photos

aint they cuties....

he done gone and got a tooth!!

our little jossy woo has got his first tooth through - at last! for moths it's been threatening, slowly working its way down through his gums and the last few days i've noticed the bulge and now it's here. so tiny you have to feel it to relly join in with the excitement! robin is particularly excited - i think his fingers were in jos' mouth more today than in the 8 months he's been with us!! not to worry though, robin will soon learn that jos' mouth is no plac eto leave his fingers idling!!

just done a pampered chef show in barnsley. it went really well and Praise God i got a future booking. it's not til may but it's there and they have not been very forthcoming i tell you! also, my sales this month have gone over £1000 so i get a £20 bonus in my pay packet - yehah!

i really should be sleeping

this morning i had jos sleeep for 45 minutes from 8.15 til 9 so that he would be ready to go to sleep at the same time as robin when robin usually does his 2ish hour sleep. but robin isn't going to sleep so i can't sleep. i am very frustrated because i'm so tired having done a pampered chef show last night and then feeding jos 7 times in a 6 hour period last night. irritates me that i was self-disciplined and thought through my day and planned for it and set limits (all of which don't come naturally to my ENFP personality type) and then i get no good consequences from it - apart from robin demonstrating his excellent patience skills because although awake he is, for the most part, being quiet in his room. i expect he will fall asleep at a time just before jos wakes up and when i start calculating the time left before bedtime and so possible worrying that he won't sleep later.

i was also hoping to make it to the museum this afternoon but not sure that's going to happen if he is so knackered/falls asleep just before jos wakes!

robin loves diggers. we continue to raise him in a household that tries to blur the gender lines in terms of identity. totally want our boys to know that they are boys, one day to be men but don't want them to think that they are therefore denied pink, dresses/skirts, dollies, nail polish, fairy outfits etc. i am often quite shocked when people say, 'aren't you worried they'll end up gay?'. no, i'm not worried - not that for a minute i think people are gay simply because they had parents who gave them the freedom to explore the world through a child's eyes instead of cultural rules that have not been thought through. but anyway, it wouldn't be a problem if either of them was gay. far more important that they grow up knowing that they are loved, that they are loving to others, that they develop good boundaries with themselves and others so that they take responsibility for their choices and whatever consequences go along with those and that they serve others in a 'love your neighbour as you love yourself' way.

robin does love diggers though! we went to the park the other day where there is a digger doing a great job of building a toilet block! we parked a bit away and walked along the river to the park and we saw the heron. i say 'the' heron because for some reason whenever i see him it always feels like he is the only one. i've never seen two together and he always looks the same. and he has a wonderful aura of authority - like he really knows that he owns the place! here's a picture (taken on my mobile at full zoom so it's not the best quality!!)

a few of the goings on of creative stream...

cliff plays the hideously vast collection of westlife songs (the majority of which are covers)
andy (me) creates totem poles in his lunch break:

cliff farts.
ant sings along to westlife.
andy woods asks cliff to download/ buy more westlife, then regrets it.
andy m puts his head phones on and listens to harry potter audiobook.

all in a days work.

some things i am thinking about

1. how to blog more - i like it but finding the time is hard.
2. myers briggs personality testing and how to strengthenm the bits of me that don't fit my natural personality type.
3. work-life balance
4. jonny cash's amazing worship album
5. prophecy
6. what i want for Christmas
7. ebaying again now that i can use my phone to take pictures and bloetooth them to my laptop.
8. the fact that i haven't worn my dungarees for ages.

bregazzi's - robin discovers the bohemian life...

....and jos looks a little quizzical.

thats the next 2 weeks sorted for entertainment...

just started watching it last night - its the virus one in case you can't remember - very exciting (altho a bit annoying i remember a little bit from when we saw the occasional episode when it was originally on...)

the latest addition...

having spent too long with a house filled with clothes, nappies and duvet covers hanging from every available hanging place, we have finally invested in a tumble dryer - its like my new favourite toy!!

stil enjoying the be good tanyas
they're playing in the UK in the next few weeks - i'd really (as in there's no other band i'd want to see live at the mo) love to see them, but getting out of town to see em is a bit tricky - york or manc anyone??

also enjoying blogging again. - hope you are too!

i've been to the spa and i look ten years younger (according to chloe's mum)

this morning chloe and i went to the spa together. it was lush and i am sure my face looks different as a result. i must keep drinking lots of water though because of all those pesky toxins trying to escape my body (which is a temple i'll have you know!). I t nearly all started with disaster as i went into town early to buy a swim suit having been reliably informed that M&S stock them all year round, only to discover that M&S do not stock them all year round anymore. so i rushed to john lewis - i need'nt have as they weren't yet open - where i felt like julia roberts in pretty woman when the shop lady is lovely to her. i explained to the lady that i was going to the spa and that i had to get a cossie and that i had a very short amount of time to do it. she was awesome and got me to the costumes and helped me look through all the sizes. i went into the changing room with two but i needed niples that stuck out to the sides for the bra bit to look right so i scrapped those but then the john lewis lady kept bringing new ones to try on. i put on a (shock horror) brown suit and it looked fantastic. i love it, even though it is brown. so i bought it and had a lovely time i the spa with chloe. i am a new woman!

barnaby is coming to stay tonight - hooray. we love him and he is Jos' life parent so it's about time he put in an appearance. only joking! he is very busy and important but we get him for an evening of chicken thariwala and wine and he's staying the night.

here is a random picture from the google search for 'grape snorkel'. it was andy's choice of wordswhen i asked him for the frist two peculiar words to enter his head.

For the body of Christ

you are our God - a communal statement

From before the world began
and after the end of eternity, YOU ARE GOD
From the sea bursting out of its womb
to the wind ceasing from its chase, YOU ARE GOD
In the vastness of the universe
and the forgotten corners of our hearts, YOU ARE GOD
YOU ARE OUR GOD AND WE BLESS YOU.